Farewell to Brazil

Well folks, I'm back in the good ol' US of A now. But before I get too caught up in the swing of things, I'd probably better finish my Brasil chronicles. But first, let's go to Viewer Mail: Question #1: Paraag, you're my idol. But something is troubling me. Was Spongebob Squarepants on TV in Spanish or Portuguese? Please let me know how I can be as cool as you. - AV, New York Answer #1: Ahh... yes. Good question indeed. The problem is that they were speaking so fast that I couldn't tell if which language it was, though I suspect that it was indeed Portuguese. I did happen to catch the opening line though - "Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Quien vives en la pina de bajo del mar? SpongeRoberto SquarePantalones!" (okay I made that last part up) Question #2: What is a sasquatch anyway, a type of squash? I adore the ground you walk on. The next kid I have named Paraag will be named after you! - SL, California Answer #2: No. A sasquatch is a very hairy creature from the depths of the jungle or arctic or other fully unexplored area - kinda similar to a Yeti or Bigfoot. Question #3: Did you get a passport stamp when you went to Argentina? I wish my brother were as cool as you. - NGM, California Answer #3: I tried to get a passport stamp, but instead the Argentinian mounted police (well okay, the border patrol folks) decided to put a cheesy stamp with a toucan on it saying "Recuerdo Argentina Cataratas Iguassu", which means "Remember the Argentina Iguassu Falls". I think I should sue them for ruining an otherwise rather spectacular passport, if I do say so myself. And I do. Sunday, November 23rd Woke up early this morning to hop on a bus for a supposedly 12 hour bus ride to the town of Curitiba. I spent my waking hours on this bus trying unsuccessfully to go to sleep. Even though I was prepared this time for the shock of super-duper air-conditioning, I could have still used a sweater. Fortunately, I had my mp3 player with me to help pass the time by - about 3-4 hours of pretty darn good music, if I do say so myself (I just did). I'm thinking that perhaps I should add Radio DJ to my list of potential careers. After the Great Perfume Fiasco of 2004 occurs, I might be on the street looking for a new career path. Who knows? Somewhere along the way, we were stopped by the Brazilian Highway Patrol, who went through all the luggage and pulled a couple off of the bus to further inspect their luggage. Two hours later, the couple re-boarded the bus with a far lighter load. From what I could gather (from watching and wildly guessing), these folks brought some stuff over from Paraguay (where goods are less expensive) and were trying to smuggle them through and sell at a higher price elsewhere in Brazil. It was all confiscated. But at least I did get to watch a really bad Japanese film with Portuguese subtitles at an unnecessarily high volume level. That's always a recipe for a good time. In Curitiba, I walked into my hotel and was pleasantly surprised at just how beautiful and elegant the place looked. Which probably explains the look of shock on the receptionist's face when she saw me walk in with my backpack, baseball cap and sandals. The room was really amazing (comparatively speaking) - I wish I had more nights here just for this! It even had 4 movie channels (2 HBO, 2 Showtime) on the TV! Monday, November 24th By now you're all wondering why the heck I'm in Curitiba. Well, I'm not going to tell you. Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to let go of my arm first. There's a highly-lauded 4 hour train ride from Curitiba, which sits high up in the mountains, to the town of Paranagua, which is a small city on the coast - a 4 hour train ride, a 4 hour train ride (think Gilligan's Island). The reason for the lauds to be high is that the track was constructed many many years ago (late 1800s) when the equipment didn't exist to carve up the mountainside for a direct path and the technology didn't exist to build very long stretches of bridge. The result? A train that weaves in and out along the incredibly steep mountains through the jungle. While beautiful and spectacular, it actually just reminded me of My Old Kentucky Home, and the Appalachians therein. Though I suspect that these mountains were a tad taller. Well, the Paranagua train station is being rehabbed, so all the train passangers had to get off halfway at the town of Morretes instead. Many passangers simply turned around and took the train back to Curitiba. Not me. That would have been kinda drab. So, I took a public bus (with a bunch of other random backpackers) down to the coastal Paranagua. Since all those backpackers were headed down along with the locals, the bus was packed like peanuts in a Snickers bar. Simply maneuvering my arm to reach a distant handrail with which to brace myself was an adventure in itself. I was just thankful that no one had any rampant out-of-control B.O. issues. Paranagua was a small little town that had that distinct coastal smell and feel to it. It was a rustic town - I don't know what that really means, but trust me. Rustic. After spending a few hours walking around the town and then randomly ordering and eating some lunch (I have no idea what the waitress was saying!), I found a shady perch next to the mostly uninhabited little beach where I just sat and read a book and wrote in my journal for about 2-3 hours. Very simple pleasures. I returned to Curitiba and spent the late afternoon walking all around this city - it's a pretty good size city with lots of young people in it due to a few universities. I had a nice time people-watching and window-shopping along a 6-7 block pedestrian mall and a few small city parks. It's a very clean and developed city as well - it felt like any other small Western city might feel. They even had a McDonalds kiosk solely dedicated to ice cream. Alas the time had come to board an overnight bus to Rio. This really sucked, since I had been in the sun (the sweaty sticky sun) all day and didn't have a hotel room where I could shower and feel Zestfully clean again. A wet-wipe would have to do. In case you've never tried it before, it doesn't really work too well. But it works better than nothing. It didn't take me long to realize that I didn't do well booking a comfortable bus for the overnight journey. This one was your standard bus - no extra legroom and no lower leg-rest pad. And, as expected, it was freezing. Needless to say, I didn't sleep too well. And it didn't take long to get sick of my mp3 collection - there's only so many times you can listen to Coolio's "1,2,3,4" and that Apache Indian song "Boomshakalak" (theme song to Dumb and Dumber). Well, okay, you can only really listen to those 2 songs once without getting sick of them. Then you realize how little song-writing capability Humpty had with his "Humpty Dance" song, and suddenly your DJing aspirations have vanished. I guess I had better make sure that the Great Perfume Fiasco of 2004 never materializes. Tuesday, November 25th I returned to Newton's Rooftop Hostel this morning to finish out my stay in Rio. I entertained the idea of going to a proper hotel with the standard amenities, but was leery of spending my last few evenings by my lonesome (try not to cry too much). After cleaning up and settling back in a bit, I went on a tour of the other major tourist trap in the city - the Cristo Redentor statue (or Christ the Redeemer). This is a huge 100+ ft tall statue that sits atop one of the prominent mountaintops in the area, and is visible from most areas in the city - it's by far the Empire State Building of NYC, or the Gateway Arch of St. Louis, or the crackpipes of Detroit, or the ummm... we don't really have a defining edifice in Cincinnati, do we? Before making our way to the statue, the tour van took our small group to a favela tour. Favela is the Portuguese term for slum. There's plenty of little shacks and shanties covering the mountainsides. After all of the available land was taken to build these shanties upon, the residents built upwards, adding another shanty level to their shanty. This new level most often looks nothing like the level below and the transitions are far from seamless. The result? It looks pretty darn shanty. It was still neat to see though - they all still had electricity and water and the basic amenities. But it's really hard to describe without showing pictures. After stopping a few times on the ride up the mountain for some beautiful postcard picture views, we were at the top of the mountain at the statue. As expected, it was swamped with tourists. And all the tourists (myself included) were taking their turns in front of the statue doing the Cristo Redentor pose. Oh yeah - let's see, the Cristo Redentor pose is similar to a tightrope walker with arms outstretched. There was one little boy from somewhere in the States who refused to do this pose because he didn't want to look like a bird, instead he opted for a Statue of Liberty pose. Kids. Once again, there was a storm brewing in the distance and we had to leave or get soaked. The rain was accompanied by some very strong winds - several of us had to get out of the van at one point to help move a large fallen tree out of the way so that we could get down the hill. Good thing I'd been working out. When I got back to the hostel, I quickly realized that there were only a handful of people staying there at the time, and only one person was to be found anywhere. Though I was hoping to go hit the bars and check out the local scene, it was not to be this evening. Wednesday, November 26th After catching on my sleep, I took the subway and a local bus to the entrance of the the Tijuca Forest, which is an impressive National Park right in the middle of Rio. The object for today - see a bit of nature by way of hiking. Before I go too far, I must say that the subway ride was surprisingly comfortable and enjoyable (as far as public transportation goes). The trains were very frequent, spacious, clean, quiet, and hobo-free. Another neato-keato aspect was that the floor was covered in a rubber mat material, which allows a rider to not have to hold on to a handrail as the train is starting or stopping. This fascinated me, perhaps more than it should have. One of the primary rules of hiking is to not do it alone, especially in an area where you have no cell phone, can't speak the language, and have no one who will look for you if you don't show up. But I was still determined to see a bit of nature, so I pressed forward. After getting a trail map, I selected a trail that was relatively close to the road in it's entirety - the major attraction on this route were several grottos (rock formations of some sort). The forest was gorgeous, though I was continually focusing on evading insects and anything that sounded like a snake. Had I come to a Rio a few months later, I am told that the forest would be full of very colorful butterflies and flowers. But, as you know, I was here now. About 30 minutes into this trail, I walked into a clearing next to a pretty steep cliff. I would have sat down and relaxed and soaked it all in for a bit, but there were some teenagers making out and I was ruining their lack of adequate parental supervision. Problem was that I couldn't figure out where the trail went from here, and helping me out was clearly not in the forefront of the teenagers' minds. I spotted a trail and took it. It followed the rock cliffs around quite a ways and then seemingly disappeared. I had no idea where I was, and so I was tempted to turn around and make my way back, but there were a few rather challenging stretches of mountainside that were easier to climb up then get back down. Finally, I heard a stream and a small waterfall, spotted it on my map, and just headed in that direction. From there, I still couldn't find the trail, but I stumbled upon a few locals who gladly offered to lead me back to the road. I was fortunate in that one of them spoke English - she was a ex-ballerina/stage actress who had spent several years in Ft. Lauderdale developing her second career as a "healer" (using crystals and stuff like that). She had recently returned to Rio and was working on opening her business here. The world is full of interesting people. After making it back to the roadway, I decided to stop giving my dear old mother heart attacks and stick to simple trails from here on out. There was a 5 hour trail that I wanted to do, but I was a little too worried about getting lost, especially since I had forgotten to bring my headlamp along. When I returned to the hostel, I was fortunate in that there were new travellers who had joined. I was unfortunate in that they were all lame and didn't want to go out. And it was raining, so it was hard to argue with them. So a small group of us sat around and drank beer - me, Fernando from Peru, and two Swedes. Unfortunately, the Swedes were not members of the bikini team, nor were they female. Actually, those fellas told me that they had never heard of the Swedish Bikini Team. I refuse to believe that the SBT is a figment of American imagination. Hold strong. So this just means that I'll have to come back someday to partake in the almost-legendary club scene in Rio. Thursday, November 27th My last day here! I spent the morning packing up, and then headed out to the beach with Tamara, a girl from Holland who had just come into the city. We walked along the Copa, Copacabana beach, and then went over to the Ipanema beach right around the corner and plopped down to enjoy the beach. Since I am not in much of a need of a suntan, I decided to brave the ocean a bit and try my hand at bodysurfing since the waves were a pretty good size. I caught a few good ones, and had my shorts almost ripped off by a few others. The sky was cloudy and overcast, but it was still shockingly bright and hot outside - I could feel my skin burning. So after a few hours, we walked back to the hostel. My original intent was to go hang-gliding this morning. Rio is awesome for hang-gliding because there are mountains so close to the beach, and so you can launch off from high off of a mountain and land on the beach. This is exactly the type of activity that you know I live for. But, they shut the site down due to high winds. The bastards. I wasn't able to go with Option #2 either - scuba diving, since there was not much available in the area. Argh! I did get my heart rate up for the departing flight though. After a taxi scheduling fiasco at the hostel, I finally got into a cab 2 hours before flight time with a 30 minute average taxi ride to the airport. But there was un-average traffic on the road - I ended up reaching the airport 45 minutes before flight time for an international flight. In the States, I wouldn't have been permitted on the plane. Fortunately, the standards are not as strict in Brasil, though they were very close to closing the United counter. So, does that count as an extreme sport? Tidbits: 1. Getting food at a restaurant in Brasil for one person is difficult - the portions are huge and enough for two. So, there is a proliferance of "by the kilo" self service type places, which are pretty good. For my final meal in Brasil, I had a good-sized filet and lots of tuna sushi for about 4 bucks. 2. By the numbers: # nights spent away from home = 11. 4 of those were in a hostel with no air-conditioning. 3 were spent in a proper hotel room. 2 were spent in a bus. 2 were spent in an airplane. Net? I'm a idiot. Okay, that's all for now. I hope you've enjoyed the latest installment of my chronicles. I'll be headed back down to South America next year for a few more weeks, hopefully, to do some hiking in Peru on the Macchu Picchu trail. If anyone's interested... -Paraag

Greetings from Brazil

So, as I´m sure you´ve figured out from the subject header by now, I´m in Brazil. Why Brazil? Because United egged me into it by having a great last minute airfare deal, and I still needed to get a South American passport stamp. That´s a good enough reason, right? And since so many of you enjoyed these weekly updates last summer, I figured I´d capture my travels with an encore presentation (I hope I'm not being too presumptuous here). But alas, I´m only here for 10 days, so it won´t last very long. Monday, November 17th Went to work for a half-day this morning (though my co-workers would claim that it wasn´t really work), and headed down to Philly in the afternoon where my overnight journey to Rio de Janeiro in Brazil would begin. Actually, I should be spelling the country as Brasil. How in the world did we manage to mini-butcher the country´s name by substituting a ´z´? Regardless, Brasil has a nice ring to it. Which got me thinking... what the heck does United States mean anyway? Aren´t most countries a group of states that are united? Perhaps it meant something 227 years ago before we were a country that the individual states were united against the British oppression (damn Brits!), but now it doesn´t make all that much sense anymore. I mean look at Canada, even they have a real name (sorry if you were expecting a Canadian joke there, but my new boss is from that village, eh?). In any case, my point is that nothing happened today. The whole country-name thing was simply filler material. Oh wait - I did meet the most obnoxiously rude airline hostess that I've ever encountered in my life. Tuesday, November 18th I actually landed in Sau Paulo first, which is the world´s third most populous city in the world. The view from above confirmed this. I couldn´t spot a park or futbol field anywhere to save my life - the whole landscape was just covered with rooftops, even up and down hills. Really strange. After catching the connecting flight to Rio, I decided to take the city bus to my hotel. I´m always a little leary as to how to get to my hotel in any new country, because I know that there are a ton of airport scams. And since I had absolutely no clue where I was in relation to my accomodation or how much it should cost, and I couldn´t really converse with any of the natives to figure it out (everyone speaks Portuguese), I took my chances with the $0.75 city bus, which would also give me a nice tour of the city in the meantime. Well, at least, that´s what I thought. I got a good tour of traffic jams. It took about 2 hours, I think. Since I don´t wear a watch, keeping track of time has been a minor recurring issue this entire trip. So Rio is pretty darn hot. I got off the city bus in the Copa, Copacabana area (yes, the same one of Barry Manilow fame) and walked about 6 blocks in the oppressive heat to my hostel. By the way, before I forget, oppressive is the word of the day, so every time you read it, you must scream as loud as you can, as if I were Pee Wee Herman and this were my Playhouse. Yes, I stayed in a hostel in Rio. Since I´m traveling alone, I had no idea how I´d meet up with anyone unless I did this. It was a good choice. Everyone there spoke English and was really really friendly. The place is called Newton´s Rooftop Hostel, and ran me a whopping $8 per night. It´s pretty neatly decorated and has a deck on the rooftop where all of the backpackers hung out at night, speaking English and drinking beer. I even had dinner with them up there - we ordered out for some Domino's! Let me tell you - Domino's makes a mean margherita pizza down here with fresh basil leaves. By the time I got here, it was already late in the day and it was crazy hot. So I just stayed here and chatted with the other backpackers. Yes, that was lame and very un-Paraag like. However, I chalked it up to my required "adjustment period". The rooms didn´t have air-conditioning, so I didn´t sleep very well. Neither did my three hottie female roommates (2 Austrians, 1 Hollandaise?). Because of the heat, okay? Because of the heat. The oppressive heat. Wednesday, November 19th After waking up in the morning and peeling out of bed - it was sweaty-sticky, you know, from the heat. Really, from the heat. I mean seriously folks, get your minds out of the collective gutter. Can I continue here? As I was saying, after I got up and had a shower and a basic breakfast, I wandered over to a few travel agencies to set up the remainder of my itinerary. I really had nothing planned at all when I left and tried to figure it out on the plane. Unfortunately, there was no way I could really do any hiking in the Amazon - it´s too far away. And besides, I didn´t get a yellow-fever injection or the remainder of my Hepatitis injections from last year. Bad Paraag. One of the things that I booked was a half day tour in Rio today. We saw the Maracaña Stadium, which is the largest futból stadium in the world, holding close to 200,000 people in it. That´s pretty large. But the highlight of the trip was the double cable car journey up to the top of Sugarloaf Mountain (Pao do Açucar). From there, you can see the entire city and realize what an odd selection of locations this is to have a city. There are mountains everywhere, and the city pretty much exists in all of the valleys. So, some of the areas are only connected by a few tunnels here and there. Kinda neat. While I was up there, I saw some dark clouds coming in from the horizon and tried in vain to catch a bolt of lightning in a picture. Of course, then the thunderstorms hit us on the mountain and we were stuck for about an hour. But the rain was a welcome addition after the oppressive heat (are you yelling yet?). I met a guy from New York during this trip - he was wearing an NYPD shirt similar to the one my brother owns (as well and millions of others), but this guy was actually NYPD. And he added another example to back my long-held theory - most policemen are arrogant, egotistical jerks. Perhaps they have to be, though. The only policeman I've met personally who wasn't a jerk was one of my techs (ex-police) in Cape Girardeau, MO. But then again, I was his boss... In the evening, a few of us from the hostel went out to a restaurant to get some of the local food. Most meals here in Brazil are pretty darn large and are recommended for two people. That really sucks for me since I´m traveling alone. But in this situation, it worked out well - two of us split a filet mignon platter. So, I was expecting something like 10 oz for each of us or something like that. Rather, it looked like each of us got about 24 oz of beef - a filet, no less. It was even better than Outback Steakhouse. I had a hard enough time finishing off the beef than to even begin worrying about the creamed rice that came with it (eww...). And it was gooooood (like Jimmy Dean). After our marathon meal, we strolled over to the Copa, Copacabana waterfront at one of many small stalls set up there and had a few rounds of the local favorite, caipirinhas. It had a few different liquors in it, so it kinda resembled a long island ice tea. Except that a small glass was all of 3 Reals (= $1 USD). That´s almost as cheap as New York City bars. But hanging out on the beach, sipping some drinks, and chatting with other English-speaking people was really awesome. Thursday, October 20th Peeled myself out of bed this morning and headed down to the Copa, Copacabana beach. It´s pretty long. Around the corner from the Copa, Copacabana beach´s end is the Ipanema beach (as in that song "The Girl from Ipanema"), but I didn´t get that far. I simply strolled around, enjoying the cloud cover and medium heat, people-watching, and making sure that I wasn´t being robbed by the "accidental bump" move. There were plenty of people playing beach volleyball - but not normal beach volleyball. This futból crazed place was playing with futból rules - no hands or arms, including the service. It was pretty darn cool. I thought to myself, "I can´t do that". I also had the pleasure of seeing the sasquatch himself cruise down the beach on a bike. Twice. After a few hours of strolling, I headed out on my first adventure. An 18 hour bus ride to Foz do Iguaçu. Or at least my travel agent said it was 18 hours. The good book (a.k.a. Lonely Planet travel guide) claimed that it was a 21 hour ride. There were no flights available for a few more days, and they were pretty darn expensive anyway. Surprisingly enough, the bus was really really comfy - much better than any bus I´ve seen in the US in fact. Attached to the back of the seat in front of you is a pull down cushioned pad to bridge the gap between the edge of the seat and your footrest. And the seats reclined a ton too. It was like having a Barc-o-lounger in the bus. You remember the oppressive heat I was complaining about? Well, the Brazilians go all out with the air-conditioning. Before long, I couldn´t go to sleep because my knee-caps were frozen (really). It took a while to muster up the courage to charade my way into explaining to the driver that I was freezing my knee-caps off and needed to get into my bag to get some cloths of warmth. Friday, November 21st So I'm still in that gosh darn bus. Until 2pm or so - that ended up being 23 hours. I was in a great mood. Fortunately, I had purchased a package tour that included a tour of the Brazilian falls and 2 nights at a hotel - a real hotel. After a wonderfully refreshing shower, the tour guide took me on my own personal tour of the Brazilian Iguacu Falls - the Falls are split between Argentina and Brazil. But before seeing the nice birds-eye view of the falls, I took a different 2 hour tour that culminated in a boat ride into the spray of the falls. It was incredible - we got absolutely soaked from the spray of the waterfalls. It was so intense that you couldn't even open your eyes to see the falls. So as I was saying, the falls are split between Brazil and Argentina. But much like Niagara falls, this split is not even. Most of the falls are on the Argentinian side, but Brazil has a nice overview of the entire thing - they built a walkway out on top of the river to the tip of the falls to give some nice close-up views. Regardless, the Niagara Falls (and even the Victoria Falls in Africa) pale in comparison. These falls are much much taller and 10 times wider. Simply breath-taking. No amount of time would have been enough to let it soak in - it was that amazing. I'm really at a loss for words to describe it - I'm just glad that the imagery is still fresh in my mind! Saturday, November 22nd Today, I took a full day tour of the Argentinian side of the Falls with my hotel tour guide and a few others. We had a few hikes to get to some amazing vista points of the Argentinian side - spectacular. It's kind of like how the Canadian Horseshoe Falls are so much more impressive than the US Niagara Falls, and then multiply that by 10. And I guess that I really can't call it a hike so much - all the walkways were comfortably paved so that anyone could do it. This was good for my tour group, since the others in the group were all over 60 years of age. But similar to the Brazilian side, these paved roadway did extend out to the edge of the falls. Regardless, I was a bit bummed since I was hoping to do some real hikes and see some of the wildlife as well. I came away with the realization that any time I go and see a natural wonder like this in the future, I should do it on my own terms if possible such that I can sit and stare for any amount of time I want. But, I did see a toucan. I named him Sam. He's my very bestest friend. For dinner that evening, I did something that I probably should have regretted. I had sushi in a third-world country. Probably not the best idea I've had so far, but then again, considering the lack of pure adventure on this trip thus far, perhaps it was necessary. Though it's well past Saturday, I'll split this up into two e-mails and finish the rest later when I get home. As I've said already, this trip has been very much Kix-like: mom-approved. There's been no rolling down hills in large inflated plastic balloons, no go-carting steep slopes sans railings, no jumping off of cable cars with a rubber band around the ankles, no riding on top of a truck (no seatbelt!) through curvy roads, and no near death experiences by scooter. I'll try to change that by the next e-mail. Tidbits: 1. Pregnant women here walk around with their bellies hanging out. Not that this is wrong or anything, it's just something I'm not used to seeing. I suppose it's seen as a natural stage in life that doesn't need to be hidden. In fact, one of the very attractive Brasilian MTV VJ's was very noticeably pregnant. I don't think this would fly very well in the US. 2. Now I'm as much a Telemundo fan as the next person (just ask my new roomie Steve of Brit-land), but some shows were just not intended to be dubbed over in Spanish. Like Spongebob Squarepants. 3. Lastly, if anyone wants a soccer jersey, let me know soon and I'll try and get you one. They look pretty darn authentic down here, and there's a multitude to choose from. Let me know if you have a specific team that you want and I'll see if I can find it tomorrow. My guess is that they are running less than $20 (probably $15). 4. Brits and Aussies (and perhaps all Europeans) go to the store and buy a slab of beer. A slab is pretty much a 12 pack. So, the conversion factor in use here is 2 slabs = 1 case, or 1 slab = 0.5 cases. Let me know if you need more time. - Paraag