Trip Update #5

I think I'm getting addicted to this all play and no work thing. Any chance I could do this for a living? It'd be nice. Before I continue, I wanted to clarify something that I'm getting many questions about. Thank you all for your concern over our safety in Indonesia, as apparently in certain regions there are Islamic militants sweeping out Americans. But fret not, we have a plan. If we are confronted by these fundamentalists, Rayman, being a Muslim himself, knows the secret Islamic handshake and will be able to get us out of any hostile situation we may encounter. As a back up plan, we will shackle Rayman's friend Brian (who is joining us in Indonesia) and tell people that we are trying to find the highest bidder for this white capitalist pig. We may even be able to pay for the entire trip from the proceeds of this black market sale. Monday, June 10th. Took a bus to get to the train to get to the bus terminal in Brisbane, where we took a bus to get up to Hervey Bay. At the bus terminal in Hervey Bay, we took a bus to our hostel. Needless to say, we traveled a lot today. Not too much to report. There's a hair stylist staying at the hostel we were at, so I resolved to bleach my hair, and Rayman resolved to cut his really short. To make a long story short, I ended up with a trim and Rayman ended up with the blonde hair. Apparently, my hair loss has been very uneven, particularly in the front of my head. This hair guy (Juhani from Finland) insisted that bleaching my hair would make this stand out like a sore thumb. Oh well. So much for that potential experiment. I guess I'll just have to get multiple piercings on my face. I wonder how many I'd have to get before it'd affect my job performance. This could be an interesting test. But not for me. My mom would shoot me. I think Rayman now looks like Justin Timberlake (from N'Sync), and have spared no opportunity to point that out to him and everyone we encounter. For some reason, he doesn't seem to appreciate this. Tuesday, June 11th Started a 2 day / 1 night tour of Fraser Island off the eastern coast of Australia. Fraser Island has the distinction of being the world's largest sand island - roughly 120km by 15km. Pretty nifty. With this in mind, Rayman and I expected to see something resembling a huge sandbox. We were wrong. Apparently, trees still find a way to grow in sand - not cacti and the like, but actual tropical forestry. In fact, much of the island is classified as sub-tropical or tropical because of the abundance of trees. At one point, there was a major logging industry cutting down the timber on the island. I don't get it. Where's the dirt coming from for the trees to grow on? I guess the trees are just growing from nothing - alas proof that Newton's conservation of mass theorem is a joke. Along with doing a rainforest hike, we also floated down a fresh water stream. Since there are no rocks on the island, there were no rapids and the water was crystal clear. The highlight of the day was an airplane ride above the island - nothing like really getting a feel for a place by getting a bird's eye view. We were also able to see a couple of whales, dolphins, rays, and even a shark in the ocean. Pretty neat. There are a whole bunch of sharks very close to the beaches because apparently it is fish spawning season and they like to spawn here, making it a feast for the predatorial sharks. Meals are included in the package tour, so it's all you can eat. This is a bad thing, considering my relative lack of exercise. Walking unfortunately does not count as exercise for me. Funny thing is with all these meals - they will only let us have one roll per meal. Chicken? - all you can eat. Fish? Pasta? Salad? You guessed it - all you can eat. Apparently there is a shortage of flour on the island and they have had to revert to rationing out the rolls in a Soup Nazi type fashion. I don't get it. We finished off the night with a bit of Karaoke, during which I sang both the male and female parts of Summer Loving (from Grease) in different octaves. Got to be a bit difficult after a while. Capped off the karaoke with Jungle Boogie (from Pulp Fiction) - this has got to be the easiest song in the world. Two simple lines repeated randomly: Jungle Boogie (go figure) and Get Down, Get Down. Intersperse some grunts, groans, and moans, and all of a sudden you have a hit single on your hands. Before bed, we hopped out to the beach to catch a glimpse of the stars. Absolutely beautiful. It's a shame that we have to have streetlights all over our cities ruining this free vision of beauty for people across the land night after night. Wednesday, June 12th. Got up early to see the sun rise. The sky was clear, mostly. Apparently, God thought it would be funny to place the only cloud in the sky right on the horizon where the sun was coming up. Hardy har har. I'm not amused. But I find what I claim to be a comet, and being the discoverer of said comet, promptly named it Paraag's Comet, which the astronomy people promptly misspelled. Went for a hike up a large sand bar - felt like we were walking in the desert, but without the oppressive heat. Kinda neat. Got to Lake Wabby (yeah, dumb name) and took a swim. A few of our new-found friends decided to make the largest man-made sand pile known to man. Quickly, this degenerated into a breast, and then into a pair of breasts. Then, this further degenerated into the likeness of Jennifer Lopez' backside. Men. Can't live with them, can't shoot them. Sheesh. In the afternoon, we went to Lake MacKenzie. This has got to be one of the most beautiful places we have seen so far. Perfect soft white sand (almost 100% silica). Perfect crystal clear fresh water at the perfect pH of 5.5 or so. This actually could pass for paradise. After we returned to Hervey Bay, we boarded a bus and rode for 13 hours overnight to Airlie Beach. Sleeping on a bus is very easy to do. I recommend that you all get up now and try it. Really. Thursday, June 13th - Saturday, June 15th Got off the bus in Airlie Beach and within one hour we were booked and boarded on a 3 day/2 night cruise on a racing yacht with 24 other people around the Whitsunday Islands. These 3 days were by far the most relaxation we've had since we started. We just got to lie in the sun all day, beer in hand. Each day, we snorkeled and saw some gorgeous tropical fish surrounding the coral reefs. We also attempted to do some real sailing, but unfortunately the winds were not so cooperative. I went through a lot of sunscreen, and of course, to no avail. I am now the owner of a nice farmer tan. Although not quite to the level of my co-worker Keith, who will blind you by the paleness and contrast of the skin beneath his shirt. But still, there's a marked difference. Oh well. We played some soccer and cricket on the beach, neither of which I am very good at. Damn Brits. Watched the sunset over the ocean - highly recommend this if you've never seen it. Beautiful colors. Being in the ocean, we were now truly away from all the city light and were able to see the stars in all their glory. We could even see another galaxy - I can only presume that it was Andromeda. Saturday night, we got back to Airlie Beach and hung out with our new shipmates to watch the soccer matches. Then hit the clubs for a few hours, before calling it a night. On the way back to the hostel, we came across a foam party. So I said to myself, "Self," I said," have I ever been to a foam party?", to which I quickly responded, "No, self," I said, "I don't believe I have." Picture a tub of soapy suds complete with rubber ducky. Now expand this picture to include a whole bunch of people in a nightclub setting and no tub, and you have the basic premise. Minus the rubber ducky. Who came up with this idea? I don't know. He or she was probably high. Sunday, June 16th Woke up three hours later and boarded a bus for Townsville. I kid you not. Townsville. Whoever named this place was probably some boring engineer-type from the middle of nowhere with no sense of imagination and sans personality. Upon reaching Townsville, we hopped the ferry over to Magnetic Island, where we are staying at Maggie's Beach House. This island it pretty peaceful - not overcrowded in the least. We just hung out all day and relaxed. Watched the sun go down from the beach in the bay, just outside the hostel. And now I'm writing this e-mail. The weather has most certainly taken a turn for the hotter. It was crazy muggy hot yesterday and today. I'm sweating just sitting around. I don't know how I'm going to survive the hotter temperatures as we move north. Tidbits: 1. No one in Australia drinks Foster's. I haven't even seen it at any bars. Australians claim that they keep the good beer for themselves and export the crappy beer to the silly Americans. Nothing like some friendly humor from descendants of convicts. 2. England is actually pronounced with 3 syllables. Or at least that's how all the England soccer fand pronounce it in all of their fight songs. 3. It's a little known fact that Greyhound in Australia is required by law to play the dumbest movies ever made to further bore their passengers to death. You try watching Legally Blonde and Coyote Ugly. It's not easy.