Trip Update #14 - En Finito

Yeah, okay. So I'm a tad bit late with this one. Just withhold your payment - that'll show me. If you do have service complaints, please register them at www.biteme.com. Have a nice day! :-) Alas, this will be the final update. I leave in about 40 hours. My mother is so happy. I think she has one of those digital countdown clocks on the wall. You know, like those clocks that were all over the place a few years back counting down to the new millennium? Hmmm... New Years 2000 was probably the single largest event in mankind that rendered the most clocks unusable. What a waste. So, do they go to clock heaven or something? I think it's sad that they come to such an abrupt meaningless fate. I know I wouldn't want to be a millennium countdown clock, would you? All right, enough babble. To the "Where's Paraaldo?" verses: Monday, August 12th Woke up in severe pain. Last night was the single worst night of sleep I've had in a decade. Something hit me hard. Must have been the pizza. A little too happy for my tastes. Damn that Herb. I'm sure the beer had nothing to do with it. Nooooooooo. Somewhere around noon (I think), I crawled onto the backseat of a motor scooter for a tour of the city of Phnom Penh, Cambodia. First stop: The Killing Fields of Choeng Ek. Those of you who have seen the movie called "The Killing Fields" will already know that Pol Pot's regime in the late 70's (I think) exterminated 2-3 million Cambodians for being educated or for being suspected dissidents. About 10,000 people were buried in mass graves at Choeng Ek. One of the memorials gives you a real hard gut check - it's a bunch of glass-door cabinets filled with stacked exhumed human skulls. If that doesn't make it hit home, nothing will. Next stop was the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. This place was a high school turned prison camp turned museum, where Pol Pot sent the educated people and suspected dissidents prior to sending them to their execution and mass burial at Choeng Ek. Unbelievably depressing. Last stop was the Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda. Due to my late start, I only had about 30 minutes to spend here. I would've liked to spend 3-4 hours - mainly to have somewhere a little more cheerful to recuperate from my rough night and not so perky early afternoon travels. This place was gorgeous. I think it's even nicer than the Royal Palace in Bangkok. If you remember, I commented on the Bangkok Royal Palace that it was so beautiful that I didn't even know what to take a picture of. I almost felt like I was doing a disservice to a building or structure if I didn't photograph it. Well ditto that here. Times two. Tuesday, August 13th Took a boat up the Mekong River to Siem Reap today. At least I think it was the Mekong River. I've done so much travelling on the Mekong River so far, that I'm gonna stick with it. I've already made the Mekong - Yukong joke, haven't I? Anywho, this boat wasn't a normal looking boat. Oh no. It resembled a submarine that didn't quite submerge, or perhaps something out of Jacques Cousteau, but only 0.0 leagues under the sea. In any case, it was fast, so I was there by noon. After fighting the huge crowd of hawkers trying to get me to go to their guesthouse on the back of their scooter, I hopped onto the back of a scooter of a guy who somehow had my name written on a piece of paper. The element of familiarity goes a long way when you're surrounded. Oh yeah - so you're probably wondering what the heck is in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Nothing really. But it is abnormally close to the single greatest Ancient Wonder of the World. I speak of course of The Temples of Angkor (insert dramatic sound clip here), of course of course. These are a collection of temples built by the Khmer kings over a span of 600 years beginning in the 11th century, the crown jewel of the lot being the tremendous Angkor Wat. Sorry - can't really describe it. So for dramatic effect, just imagine something so beautiful it's inconceivable, and then nod your head (much like Stifler and little bro gazing at the computer screen) and smile. I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. The only thing I saw today was one temple, called Phnom Bakheng, which is perched on top of a hill. After climbing the steep slope of the mountain, and then the steep steps of the temple, I sat around for about an hour or two waiting for the sun to go down with a bunch of strangers. Actually, I take that back - several people that I had met on my Vietnam Mekong trip were there too. Anyways, we didn't know when the sun actually set because there were too many clouds in the way. But we imagined how nice it would be to watch the sun set. And there was much rejoicing. Wednesday, August 14th Went Wat-watching all day today. From seeing the sunrise at Angkor Wat at 6 am to seeing the sunset at Angkor Wat at 6pm. Wat after Wat after Wat after Wat. But here's the condensed play-by-play in between the Angkor Wat visits: The Bayon, The Baphuon, Phimeankas, Terrace of the Leper King, Terrace of Elephants, Ta Keo, Ta Proehm, Bantaey Kdei, Preah Rup, Bantaey Srei, East Mebon, Ta Som, and Preah Khan. Some were very very large, some were quite small. Some have been fully restored, others are in the middle of restoration, and still others are left untouched. Since they were built over a 600 year span, there area a vast array of religious and architectural differences among them. In all cases though, the level of stone carvings was just exquisite. And seeing these ruins in the thick of the jungle, in some cases it was the jungle literally in the ruins, was unreal. I spent the last three hours or so of my sightseeing exploring Angkor Wat. This alone was worth the trip into Cambodia. Infinitely better than Borobudur and Prambanan in Indonesia. For the last hour, I sat perched outside the Northwest Stupa of Angkor Wat listening to music on my MP3 player, staring out into the distance in the general direction of the sun, which was unfortunately still playing peek-a-boo behind the clouds. You just don't get to do that every day. Thursday, August 14th Started the long painful journey back to Bangkok today, courtesy of A/C minibus. The first leg of this journey to the Cambodian border was by far the more interesting. Cambodian roads have not been touched since the 60's. In fact, it was hard to tell if there was really any pavement at all - the roads were dirt for the most part, with severe potholes and tire trenches. We were limited to about 15 kmh for about 7 hours. Some of the other silly tourists in the minibus thought it'd be a good idea to try and sleep through it. All they got was a hard smack in the head from the window as the bus shimmied from side to side. Dummies. Along the way, we passed a few vehicles that were broken down due to simple mechanical issues such as total axle failure or the pansy left-front-wheel-snappage-offage. And a few other vehicles that had simply driven over the wrong spot on the wooden bridge, and subsequently partially falling through. In each of these cases, we just drove around them. At 15 kmh or less. In one instance, we were diverted through a few farms to avert a truck-stuck-in-bridge scenario. The farmers had all set up makeshift tollbooths for the rerouting. Something tells me that they were in on the bridge failure. Friday, August 16th I think the digestive system should have a reset button or a purge button or something like that. I've had some issues over the past few days. Thankfully, today was the end of it. I was waiting till I got in Thailand because I didn't quite trust the quality of medication available in Cambodia. Wow. Those are words that I never thought I'd utter. I spent the day shopping for the most part. I would tell you what I bought, but then I'd have to kill you. Okay I'm lying. I can't kill you. I'm in frickin' Thailand. The only other thing of note is that I went to see Men In Black 2 today in the movie theatres. Not bad at all. And they didn't even play that accursed song. As in New Zealand, seats were assigned. Just before the movie, everyone was required to stand up "to pay your respects to the King", while a national anthem of some sort was played over the sound system. Immediately following the movie, all the teenage girls were chatting on their cell phones. Saturday, August 17th - Thursday, August 22nd Left for the island of Ko Samet on Saturday, where I'll cap off this extensive and extremely-tiring journey. I'm just wiped out completely. I haven't stayed in one spot for more than two days in three and a half months (with the exception of Sydney). Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade the experience I've had for anything. I'm just really really tired. To the point that I don't think I enjoyed Angkor Wat as much as it deserved to be enjoyed. So Ko Samet is supposed to be the relaxation therapy. I didn't do a damn thing the whole time. My room was a shanty bungalow with a full-size bed in it (with mosquito net, thank goodness). The roof was made of tin. The walls were made of something resembling basket thatch. I just sat around. Read a few books - for those of you keeping track, I've finished Naked by David Sedaris, Masquerade by William Kienzle, The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coehlo, and I'm almost done with The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy (no relation to Patrick). Began a morning jogging routine. Even tried my hand at body surfing. Watched some movies, including Blade II, Men in Black II (again), The Matrix, and Meet the Parents. The weather has been perfect. Perfect for me that is - overcast the whole time. I'm too tanned as it is, so this allowed me to venture where I wanted to without concern. The bar at the place I stayed at was pretty cool. From 10pm to midnight every night, they have this thing called Toss-Up. You flip a coin to determine whether or not you pay for your drink. I won four out of five - so I paid a total of $1.50 for five gin and tonics. Can't beat it. Today (Thursday), I got on a boat to come back to Bangkok. This gives me a day and a half in Bangkok before catching my early Saturday morning flight back home. Which gives me plenty of time to partake in Bangkok's bustling trade of... umm... on second thought, let me change the subject. Have you seen my baseball? Yes mom, I'm being good. I promise. I won't be engaging in any activities that could result in body parts falling off. Really. I promise. So that's it. The end. Over. Kaput. Zoinks. Jeepers. Bif! Zok! Whap! If you're expecting some grand essay on "things I've learned" or "the meaning of life", I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I'm working on it. But I'll leave you with a few thoughts. (Bill N. - please skip to the bottom. This is the sappy stuff that you will undoubtedly give me grief over!) - No matter where you go, people are inherently the same. There is no such thing as a country full of evil people. There are just some really bad governments. Sometimes, it's not even a bad government - just a government that we don't agree with. - Religion is for the most part the same everywhere too – just in a different color wrapper. Everywhere people are looking for guidance in a mysterious world that seems uncontrollable at times. And everywhere, the basic tenets of all religions can be summed up to the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". It's a shame that most wars are attributed to religious differences. - It's really a shame that we as people revere money as much as we do. Knowledge and understanding are worth far more, but not given as much credit. As a result, I think as a society, we have our values way out of whack. As the adage goes, money can't buy happiness (and Weird Al adds "I guess I'll have to rent it"). - Nothing humans will build will ever be as spectacular as that which has already be created. Nature is by far the most spectacular thing I've seen on this trip. And it's free (or at least it should be). - A trip to a third world country really puts some things in perspective. Why is it that a child with (what we consider in the West to be) absolutely nothing in a third world country can be perfectly happy kicking a ball of twine around, and a child in a "developed" country will yell, kick, and scream about not having a Playstation 2? Simplicity has some benefits that we've lost the ability to see. I'm not, by any means, advocating a move to the 500 years ago. I just think it might be helpful to sit back and think about what I think I need and what I really need every once in a while. I guess I did have an essay in me after all. If you don't agree with me on some of these thoughts, that's cool too – they are somewhat personal thoughts anyway. We'll just agree to disagree. I'm not really looking for a debate here, but I'm more than open to a discussion at some point with any takers. Over a good bottle of wine. Or Franzia. So long. Farewell. I hate to say goodbye. Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you. Those of you in Cincinnati, stop by and see me sometime. I'd love to catch-up. I'll be back on late Saturday night. Those of you not in Cincinnati, drop me a line. I've disconnected my cell phone, so just use my home phone - 513-871-5830. -Paraag Tidbits: 1. Cell phone coverage in Asia is far superior to the U.S. Everywhere I've gone, the tour guides, bus operators, boat driver, etc. has relied extensively on the cell phone for last minute changes and whatnot. Everywhere. 2. There's a bar in Siem Reap called Angkor What? Guess someone beat me to that joke. Dammit! 3. When in Asia, always remember to have plenty of bottled water handy. It's not a good feeling to get up thirsty in the middle of the night only to realize that you can't drink out of the tap. 4. Following on #3, but the locals must drink out of the tap. And they're A-Ok. Amazing how our privileged lifestyle in the West has also made us more susceptible and prone to sickness. Kind of counter-intuitive. 5. Just remembered one that I meant to write way back in Australia. Rayman can definitely appreciate this one. If you're lactose intolerant, don't drink a glass of milk in the morning without taking the proper medication. Even if you think you can "muscle" your way through it. P.S. A sincere thanks to the countless people who have e-mailed me compliments and such. I'm going to miss writing these as much as or more than you'll miss reading them. And from what I can tell, there's a whole group of people that I don't even know who are getting forwarded these from other people. Feel free to drop me a line or e-mail - I'm kind of curious to see where it ends.

Trip Update #13

I'm in trouble - it's the accursed 13th update. Or perhaps it's a good sign, since I've survived the 13th week. Hmmm... Monday, August 5th On the road again this morning - this time to a town called Hoi An. Hoi An is a picturesque little town situated about 5 km from the beach and boasts a fabulously untouched "Old Town" area for the romantics in all of us. See? I really could be a travel guide writer. After finding a room acceptable enough for me (i.e. cheap), I headed out to take part in Hoi An's favorite pastime - shopping. This area is famous for getting custom-tailored clothes at bargain basement prices. Who am I to buck a trend? So, I checked it out. Having no idea what I was looking for, I walked into a shop and stood there rather cluelessly. This reminds me of a rule that I learned at work that I clearly paid no regard: Have a plan. I had no idea what I wanted to get made at all, and no idea how much I wanted to spend on it. Sensing correctly that my mind was blank slate to be manipulated, the salesladies did rather well - convincing me to order 2 pants and 5 shirts that evening. Total: $60. They would be ready tomorrow at 11 am. I can't even get pants hemmed that quick or for that cheap in the States. Next item on the agenda was squaring away travel plans for the next few days. Like any sane person, I went to see Mr. Phuc (pronounced "fook"). Normally I don't comment on making travel plans - it's a given that happens at every city I've visited. But I couldn't not tell you about my new friend Mr. Phuc (pronounced "fook") now, could I? That Mr. Phuc (pronounced "fook"), he's a good guy. Tuesday, August 6th Agenda for today - nothing major. Just relax. Since I've been pretty much non-stop since getting into Vietnam (well, probably since Bangkok, actually), I figured I'd just relax for a day and have nothing specific on the agenda. Except for shopping. So I swung by the tailor shop to check out the clothes. I didn't know clothes were actually supposed to fit like this. It's amazing. I can never find my size in pants - it's virtually impossible. So I usually have to buy pants and have them hemmed for an additional charge. This also results in the pants being a bit baggier than necessary. But not these pants. I would have to get some more. And these shirts! Apparently, I have long arms for my torso size. So, to get long-sleeve shirts that fit my arms, I end up having a whole lot of shirt leftover to tuck into my pants. But not these shirts. I would have to get some more. In a few short minutes (or about an hour), I had ordered 3 more pants, 1 more shirt, a 3-piece black tuxedo, and a ¾ length gray Cashmere jacket - all for $110 more. Not bad. And I thought that this stuff was cheap in Bangkok (sorry Rayman!). And to top it all off, all of this stuff would be ready this very evening. I'm not making this up. There's also a bunch of art galleries here. So I perused and browsed to my heart's content. I picked, bargained, and purchased three pieces. And, of course, I'll end up spending a heck of a lot more on getting them framed in the States than I spent on the actual piece of art. Surely this isn't the way it's supposed to happen. After spending 2 hours and $50 in the post office to send 7 kg of clothes home (ETA Winter 2002), I was pooped. So much for a day to relax. And I didn't even get to hit the beach. I was so pooped that dinner consisted of the water and Pringles that the tailor shop gave me as parting gifts (see? Pringles are universal). Wednesday, August 7th Got a cab to the airport in Danang this morning to catch a flight to Saigon. I wasn't feeling in such top shape – the evidence points at my gourmet dinner from the previous evening. So, when I got to Saigon, I found a room and then crashed for a few hours before walking around. Saigon is a bit of a misnomer - it's actually Ho Chi Minh City, which has 16 districts in it. District 1 is the concentrated downtown area, which is called Saigon. The older generation still calls the entire city Saigon though. All of the buildings around here are very very narrow and long. So is my hotel. My room is on the 4th floor - #402. Somehow, this translates to having to climb 5 sets of stairs. Haven't quite figured out the math on this one yet. Thursday, August 8th Still not feeling too great, so I slept in this morning before heading out to see the Saigon sights in the afternoon. First stop - Emperor of Jade Pagoda. But I couldn't see any jade anywhere, and there certainly wasn't an Emperor hanging out there, so I was confused. This time a little more than the standard level of confusion typically lingering in my head. But there were a whole lot of turtles in a shallow pool at the entrance. Does that count for anything? Next stop - the Notre Dame Cathedral. It's just smaller than the one in Paris, that's all. And a tad bit out of place. But it's all good. Lunch was spectacular - sushi platter for $6. Hit the spot. While $6 for a meal in Vietnam is actually more than I've had to spend so far, I needed some sushi badly. Cooler heads prevailed. After lunch, I headed over to the War Remnants Museum, which has on display loads of stuff leftover from the American War - bombs, planes, tanks, bullets, other weapons. Everything. It used to be called the American War Crimes Museum, and then they changed the name because they were worried about upsetting American tourists. I wonder why? The exhibitions were a bit eye-popping and unnerving. Clearly they were only showing one side of the story, but it was still rather compelling stuff, which left me in a strange state of questioning and gloom. So my next stop was actually a nice one to make - the Mariamman Hindu temple. After having seen so many Buddhist pagodas and wats over the past month, it was nice to step foot into a Hindu establishment again. Even if the interior of the temple was completely painted in tacky pastel colors not befitting a temple in any way, shape, or form. Later on that evening, I purchased a pirated copy of a book by Robert McNamara (U.S. Secretary of Defense during the first half of the war) called: In Retrospect - the Tragedy and Lessons of Vietnam. It's pretty good actually. He does an excellent job of explaining why decisions were made going into the war and how our involvement slowly escalated much further than anticipated. If wars are your thing, this is a good book to get. Friday, August 9th Took a full day tour today to go see the Cao Dai temple and the Cu Chi tunnels. More on each of these shortly. But now, a word from our sponsors. Please spend the next 3.0 minutes singing "Nod Your Head" by Will Smith to yourself as part of the Men In Black 2 commercial. I've even seen these commercials here. This song is ridiculous. Isn't 'Nod Your Head" a line in the Hokie Pokie or something? What's next? "Pick Your Nose"? "Lick Your Palms"? "Scratch the Small of Your Back"? "Walk Like an Egyptian"? So Cao Dai is this religion that this Vietnamese guy founded in the early 1900s. Or I should say, he had some visions and then established a forum within which to convey this vision. In a nutshell, it's very dark and rather cramped. The religion, on the other hand, is a combination of Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism. Strangely enough, it also reveres Victor Hugo as a saint or prophet (I forget which). In any case, we saw this huge complex north of Saigon which used to be wholly owned and operated by the CaoDaists. And we watched the noon prayer service. Then we got back in the bus. The Cu Chi tunnels (not to be confused with the Cu Chi Cu Chi Cu tunnels - which are 2.5 times better) are an underground network of tunnels in the predominantly Communist village of Cu Chi, which the Vietcong used to thwart the American and South Vietnamese army during the war. We saw all sorts of pain-inflicting booby-traps, often involving multiple metal spikes or nails being lodged somewhere in the victims body. They didn't do any live demonstrations unfortunately. I would have paid another dollar for this. The tunnels themselves were where the Cu Chi villagers lived to survive the intense air bombing campaigns from the US planes. They were Vietnamese sized too. They doubled the height of a 60m stretch of tunnels for us tourist types. Even then, I was fully squatted down and had to waddle like a penguin to keep from crawling on all fours. My hairless head did not provide any cushioning from bumping into the hard ceiling every once in a while. Your hairy people take this for granted. Saturday, August 10th Said Sayonara Saigon this morning (yes, if I had left in the evening, it would have been Goodnight Saigon) and embarked on a 2-day trip to the Mekong Delta region, ending up in Cambodia somehow. And what a trip it ended up being. Other than being in the guesthouse overnight, the group of us on this tour were in some mode of transportation virtually non-stop. As you can guess, I didn't really see much of the Mekong Delta region which produces vast quantities of rice in Vietnam. But I did cruise down the river for 5 hours, constantly trying to wave back at each and every single local kid who yelled and screamed with their arms waving in the air. Pretty neat. There really isn't too much to report from this trip. The guide didn't tell us a damn thing about the area. But I made some new friends on the trip, so I guess that's worth something. But the guide sucked, and the food sucked - i.e., the mind and the body were left in a most unstimulated fashion. Sunday, August 11th After getting some breakfast, our main task for the day was to go to Cambodia. But first, we were loaded onto small little canoe boats for a little boat ride through a floating village. Each of these small boats was powered by a small Vietnamese lady rowing from the back. Probably not the last time that I'll be pushed around by a woman... ;-) (you see - there's my mom, and then, oh yeah, my boss is female...) Next, I hopped onto a speedboat for a 3-hour cruise to Phnom Penh in Cambodia. Along the way, we had to stop at the Vietnamese and Cambodian border crossings for the passport validations and visas and all that. The Cambodians gave me a bit of a hassle - they seemed interested in the fact that I carried an Ohio driver's license, whereas it says New York in my passport (since I was born there). Amazingly enough, the only other people in our tour group that were hassled just happened to be the only other two non-whites. Hmmmm. Now I'm not a math major, but... At Phnom Penh, we were greeted by a hoard of fans. Or actually a hoard of hawkers trying to get us to go to their guesthouse. This is kinda cool actually - you can bargain with them right there and try to get a cheaper price. But how can you really bargain down a $3 room? So I picked one and went with it. I was bored, so I walked around. And then it happened – a torrential rainstorm came down. So I did what any other hungry person would do. I went into a gas station mart to get some good food and wait out the rain. Had some instant Ramen noodles and an Ice Nescafe. Yum Yum. The rain was brief, but it wreaked absolute havoc on the roadways - apparently the drainage system is ill equipped for anything more than a light tinkle. A few of us who were on the Mekong Delta trip decided to go out for some drinks. So we hit the Foreign Correspondent's Club and had beer draughts for $1.20 (which is actually expensive!). After a few, we decided to get some pizza at Happy Herb's Pizzeria down the street. The waiter was happy, and the customers were happy as well. Can't get enough Happy Herb. Joy. For a nightcap, we hit a nightclub where the beer was even more expensive. But this place looked really neat - it was decorated such that it could have easily passed for a nightclub/bar in any major city in the States. But it was in Cambodia. Played some pool. I tend to do much better in pool when I'm not focusing on what I'm trying to do. If I think too much, I end up botching the shot. All right, that's enough for today. Even though I'm a few days delayed in sending this. Oh well. By the way, this is your second notice that your subscription is running out. Only two more issues to go, and then you'll have to get your own travel stories. See you soon. -Paraag Tidbits: 1. There is one indisputable fact about this entire region - Asians like body hair. No idea why. But not a day goes by where there isn't someone marveling at my arm hair or my chest hair. I've even had random strangers come up to me and pinch a tuft of chest hair from behind my T-shirt. Unsettling actually. It's been hard to restrain myself from shoving them away and yelling. 2. The dresses that Vietnamese flight attendants wear are hot. They just are. You should check one out someday. 3. The unit of currency in Cambodia is the riel, as in get riel. But most people just use US Dollars, and then use riel for change smaller than 1 dollar. This makes it very very hard to bargain down prices, since the numbers being discussed are very low to begin with - going down a dollar represents a significant percentage change.

Trip Update #12

As I briefly mentioned in my last correspondence, I left out a key piece of info in my previous update - namely the shaving of the head. Seeing as though I had another month to go before I get back home, it was clear to me that this may be the last chance at hair experimentation I would have without having to suffer the consequences of a disastrous outcome in front of friends and family. So, I had them set the razor to 1 and clip off anything they could find - which admittedly was not much to begin with. And all this for the equivalent of $1.33 - almost as cheap as what I pay Marcus to cut my hair. Those of you with short hair have experienced the ticklish sensation that you get when you run your hand across the freshly clipped hair. So, I've found myself at random times unconsciously playing with myself... err... running my hand across my head... err... well just forget it. So, ummm, yeah. How 'bout them Mets? Sunday, July 28th Went with 10 other random people strategically summoned from around the globe to Halong Bay for a 3 day/2 night adventure, including two who were very fine eye candy indeed. As my brother would say, rrrrrrrr... So the breakdown of peoples: an older couple from New Zealand, 5 Caucasians on vacation from jobs teaching English in South Korea, 2 female medical students from England, and a Taiwanese-American girl who just finished 2 years of teaching English in Japan. And me. You know me. Halong Bay (insert your own "Halong ago did you go to Halong Bay?" joke here) contains over 3000 islands. And these aren't your everyday normal J.C. Penney catalog islands either - they're special. The only way I can think to describe it is to imagine a flat piece of shale. Now imagine 3000 of them sticking out vertically from the sea. Defies imagination? Damn skippy. I spent the entire trip waiting for Judge Gravity to knock 'em down. The first stop on the boat cruise was a very large grotto. I don't know whether it was a grotto or not - looked like a cave to me. But I suppose they can call it whatever they want to, so grotto it is. It was nice, but it was packed with tourists and, of course, naturally occurring paved walkways and neon fluorescent lighting. The sooner we got away from the crowds, the better. The other passengers agreed. We anchored for a little while for a brief swim. I preferred diving to swimming though. Actually, I should say that I attempted to complete dives off the second level of the boat - back flips, front flips, pikes, triple axles, you name it. The dive usually ended with comments approximating "That had to hurt" from the audience that was cheering me on. We had dinner served on the boat, and it was excellent – it wasn't chicken fried rice! Our hotel for the evening was this very same boat. A number of people slept up top. By the time I got up there, all the spots were taken so I slept below. Monday, July 29th Though the dinner was fantastic, we had a ho-hum breakfast. A baguette and some scrambled eggs. I have never eaten so many darn eggs in my life. That's pretty much all they'll serve at any establishment for breakfast. And I am now thoroughly sick of them. I want my oatmeal. We headed to Cat Ba island (a few of us sang "Rock the CatBa"), where we deboated and had a nice long hike up a mountain to get a different view of Halong Bay and the islands contained therein. Nice hike. Very hot. Lots of sweat. But a beautiful view. I think you all may be sick of me talking about beautiful views. After another rousing exhibition of incomplete dives (which resulted in severe calf cramps as well as some "pain in the ass"), we deboated again on the other side of Cat Ba to go to our hotel for the evening. There is a ton of construction going on here to help support tourism - apparently Vietnam is very new to the tourist circuit. We all hit a nightclub tonight, which was an excellent peek into the Vietnamese pop culture. First, we got to witness several karaoke acts of Vietnamese songs. Then, we were treated to Michael Jackson's "History" video montage (which felt eerily right at home in Communist Vietnam). Finally, there was dance music. Normal dance music. But nothing else was quite normal. Let's see... there was the one big screen showing music videos that had nothing to do with the dance music being played, there was another big video screen showing old Tom & Jerry cartoons (my favorite part), there was a long repeated sound clip of cheering fans being played alongside said dance music non-stop, and to cap it all off there was the occasional sound of a horse neighing (over the sound system). The horse was the clincher by far. Never saw it coming. Tuesday, July 30th It rained all night long, and this continued all day today. After we boarded the boat to head back to the mainland, the wind picked up as well. Soon, it was difficult to see anything outside, and there was a rumour of a typhoon in the area. I started singing the "Gilligan's Island" theme song. But, we got to the harbor just fine. Everything was soaked in the brief walk from the boat pier to the bus though, and we were treated to a very wet and crammed 3 hour drive back to Hanoi. Back in Hanoi, I did a lot of nothing for three hours before heading on my next trip - an overnight train to Sapa, not to be confused with Napa, which is similar but very different. Wait... most of you probably didn't get that joke - a common phrase that everyone hears in the broken English from locals in Southeast Asia is "same, same, but different". I have decided to make this phrase part of my daily vernacular when I get back to the States. I urge you to consider the same. Anyway, there was only one other person on this trip with me - Valerie from France who works in marketing/sales for, strangely enough, Kimberly Clark. So I thrashed her and told her that P&G is king and that we take no prisoners. Okay, I didn't. And I didn't ask her for a job either. Wednesday, July 31st Arrived in the Lao Cai train station of northern Vietnam (right on the Chinese border) at 6:00 am. From there, we had another short and cramped minibus ride to Sapa. I quickly learned that all the travel agencies in Hanoi prettymuch sell their Sapa area tours to a hotel in Sapa, who then figures out who just came and for what tour and attempts to organize it all at the last second. Since I paid a budget price, I don't really have any room to complain. But it's pure unbridled chaos. This Sapa tour is kinda like the Chiang Mai tour I did in Thailand. Same, same, but different. And better. Though not little and yellow as well - that would be Nuprin. It's supposed to be a trek in the middle of nowhere to see the ethnic minority villages in the hills. So this was to be educational as well as adventurous. The countryside is very hilly - yet these villages still manage to somehow grow rice on the mountainside. Impossible you say? Ludicrous? Flabbergasting? I dare say not. Not. What they do is carve out steppes (that's British for steps) in the mountainside so as to have many many level surfaces to retain water for the rice crop. Yes, the retaining water phrase does have potential for a joke, but I would fear for my life upon my return if I made such a wisecrack. But I digress... So we headed off with our guide Trang down into the valley to check out some of the hill tribes. The first village we came across was a Black Hmong village. This tribe is especially adept at training the very pretty little girls to be very skilled salespeople of their woven goods. You can't imagine how hard it is to turn these children away. If you buy something from one, the rest try to give you a guilt trip by saying "But you didn't buy something from meeeeeeee." All of these kids speak very good English too - after all, they have been peddling these wares every day since they could walk to English speaking strangers. Needless to say, these hill tribes were far from untouched by civilization. Our first night was spent at the home of a family in the Giay tribe. Trang cooked us an expansive meal - six dishes plus soup and rice. Unbelievable. And very stomach expanding as well. Our beverage of choice during the dinner? Shots of rice wine, which were eerily reminiscent of the lao lao rice whiskey that I had consumed in Huie Xay, Laos. This was not all though - Trang and I shared three very large bottles of Chinese beer to cap it all off. I slept well that night. Other than having to get up to use the facilities. Thursday, August 1st Happy 28 and 1 month birthday to me! It rained nonstop last night. And it had been raining virtually nonstop yesterday as well (even during our trekking). This made for very muddy ground and overflowing streams. On more than one occasion, our hike forced us to walk shin-deep in water thus thoroughly soaking my non-waterproof sneakers. I spent the rest of the day making squishy sounds with my feet. Nonetheless, the trek was still really nice. Just soaked up the scenery and visited a few more tourist-overriden ethnic minority villages. Even so, I was happy to end the trek and get back to the hotel where a shower happily awaited me. And my feet were happy to be out of the wet shoes and into some wet sandals. Friday, August 2nd Today was low key. The rains stopped, so the heat became overbearing again. Thankfully, I only had a short 3 hour hike on the menu this morning. Saw some waterfalls and then soaked in the scenery a little more. Same, same. But different. Late in the afternoon, a minibus took a bunch of us tourist types back to Lao Cai to catch our train. There was still over an hour to pass before the train left, so a few of us decided to eat at the "Friendly Cafe" - not to be confused with the misspeled "Frendly Cafe" across the street. This restaurant/cafe/eatery-of-some-sort had a dish listed and then a price under a column labeled "Good" and another price under a column labeled "Better". In other words, you could pay a little more for a little extra something-something. But this something-something was at the sole discretion of the restaurant and the menu gave no hint as to what the difference was – you had to ask. In some cases, the better version would have skin-off chicken, or you'd get mushrooms in the dish as well or something like that. It was just different. Not same same at all. Shared a cabin with three Frenchies on the train. There's a whole lot of Frenchies visiting Vietnam - an inordinate number. I've met very few French travelers prior to arriving in 'Nam, but now it seems over half of the travelers are from there. Saturday, August 3rd Arrived in Hanoi early this morning. Since I had scheduled a night bus to the town of Hue (without the News) later that evening, I had all day to wander and roam the city. So, I went shopping. Shopping in Hanoi is interesting. Stores selling similar wares are often clustered around one another. So you end up with a street with nothing other than stores selling electronics, and another street selling metal cabinets, and even a street (Al Bundy's own personal nightmare) selling women's shoes. I didn't buy much... just wandered around. Got a fake adidas fishing hat for a little more than a dollar - the acclaimed black Puffs hat (donated by one Edmund J. Miller) that can be seen in many of the photos posted online was alas stolen by pirates in Chiang Mai. That, or I left it on the bus - I forget which. Before hopping on the bus to Hue, the tour agency guys asked me to join them for dinner. So, I got to eat what Vietnamese people actually eat for dinner after all. Pretty tasty stuff - presented in a Tupperware container too. Sunday, August 4th Got into Hue early this morning and checked into a dorm room at a hotel for $2.50 a night. Can't beat it. I just think it's kinda neat that so many places quote prices in US Dollars. Well, perhaps neat isn't the correct word - how about freaky? After settling in for all of 1.5 seconds, I hit the town. Hue was an old capital site for Vietnam back in the day (a phrase which means "I don't know when"). So, one of the big ticket tourist traps is to go check out the ruins of the old capital. I tried to do this as best I could without suffering from heat exhaustion. For the afternoon, I joined a 5 hour motorbike tour of the surrounding areas arranged by a lady named Thu. There were 8 tourists and only 6 brothers of Thu to drive the motorbikes, so I got to drive my own. This proved to be a pretty risky proposition, but for Mom's sake, I'll spare the details. The bike tour was neat - saw more ancient ruins, and tombs, and pagodas, a Buddhist monastery, and a Japanese covered bridge. You know, all the standard stuff. And no, there were not Japanese people covering the bridge - the bridge is both covered and in Japanese style. Took a very well needed shower, and unfortunately the weather is so hot here that there is no cold water coming out of the tap. It sucks. Can't even count on a shower to cool you down. Kicked off what was certain to be a banner evening by watching a really really bad movie on Cinemax (no idea how they get Cinemax here), and then a Will Smith concert on MTV. You can imagine my ecstasy. 7 of the 8 of us from the bike tour met up at Thu's cafe for drinks - we ended up hanging out here till midnight or so, when Thu's brother threw us out. So we decided to wander the streets. Immediately, tons of bicycle rickshaws offered their transportation services, which we promptly declined. Then someone got the bright idea that it might be fun to drive one of these things. Before I knew it, we had commandeered 4 bicycle rickshaws, loaded our group (which now was about 11 people) plus the rickshaw drivers on them, and began racing up and down the empty streets. I didn't win, but I did have 4 passengers on mine, so at least I have an excuse. I have a vague recollection of racing someone on foot over a bridge... and somehow we ended up at a makeshift bar (it was a bunch of plastic chairs under a tarp) and ordered a round of beers for everyone - rickshaw drivers included. Finally, I decided to stumble back to the room because I had yet another bus to catch in the morning. As luck would have it, my opinion of where the hotel was located was incorrect, so I wandered around the streets aimlessly for about 30 minutes before figuring it out. But by then I was hungry, so (being the smart guy I am) I decided to get some food at this shady nighttime roadside restaurant operation - consisting of large pots with food, undersized plastic furniture, and a what amounted to a Sterno can. I think I had some sort of chicken soup - with a quarter of a chicken (it was cooked). I haven't had any digestive problems yet, so I think I got lucky this time (that's twice today!). Okay, this is pretty dern long. I'll leave you be now. Hey - only two more updates before I'm home to write the last one. I'm sure that my mother is very happy to know this. Love you too Mom. -Paraag Tidbits: 1. The unit of currency of Vietnam is the dong, which offers up all sorts of crude typical male jokes like "How much dong do you have on you?" and the like. Sheesh... men. Can't live with 'em... can't kill 'em. 2. A whole lot of travelers from other nations ask me who I voted for. When I reply Gore, they tell me that every American that they have met has replied similarly, and so they cannot understand how Bush won. And in case you haven't guessed, our faithful leader is not all that popular outside of the States. And two interesting items courtesy of the 5 teachers from Korea: 3. Kids in Korea begin going to school from roughly the age of 3 or 4. Many children go to private schools at night in addition to public schooling during the day. And they literally spend all their free time studying - often till 1am. Then they wake up at 6am and begin the cycle again for 6 days a week. 4. When President Bush's proclaimed that North Korea is part of the "Axis of Evil" during his State of the Union address is extremely negative, South Koreans were pretty upset. Public sentiment there is that there is even now only one Korea, that unification was just around the corner, and that Bush's comments set them back 5 years. No word on what governmental sentiment is.

Trip Update #11

Since I've booked the next 6 days solid and I'm not sure if I'll have access to the Internet, I figured I'd send this one out a little early. Hope ya don't mind... Before we continue, I have a correction I need to make: C&C Music Factory sang "Things that make you go Hmmm" and "Gonna make you sweat". "Pump Up the Jam" was sung by Technotronic. Now that you are thoroughly maxxed out on useless information... Monday, July 22nd From the sleepy little border town of Huie Xay in Laos, there are two ways to get to Luang Prabang, where there's actually people living: a slow boat or a fast boat down the Mekong River (opposite of the Yukon). In true Paraagian fashion, I took the fast boat. The fast boat takes 6 hours to complete the journey. Remember the longtail boat I described a few weeks back? This boat is very similar, except that the boat itself looks like it was meant for racing. And definitely not meant for comfort. We each had an area of about 2 ft x 2 ft to sit in, meaning that we were inhaling our knees for the entire trip. It's like an upright fetal position in fact. It would have been nice if it took six hours. But it didn't. The boat kept breaking down - I have a picture of this guy working on the motor with a machete, a hammer, and an iron spike. This is engine mechanics at its finest, folks. Take notes. After changing boats twice, and changing the propeller twice, we finally made it to Luang Prabang. The Mekong River itself is a funny river. To begin with, there had been heavy rains the last 2-3 days in the region and the river was already high because of rainy season - so this river was moving fast. But it was chaotic too - there were whirlpools everywhere, along with completely random waves coming out of nowhere. And the weirdest thing was that the river seemed to change level at it's own whim - my understanding was that gravity was a universal law and would dictate that the level be flat or descending. Perhaps I'm in some alternate universe. Tuesday, July 23rd I rented a motor scooter to drive around all day today. This was great fun, especially since I've never really ridden a motor scooter much in my life, let alone one that is manual shift. Thankfully, I didn't hit anyone. Or at least, not on purpose. Luang Prabang is famous for its Buddhist temples. Go figure. So I went temple watching for a good portion of the day. Temples are known as "wats" here and in Thailand. My favorite temple names so far: Wat That, Wat May, and Wat Pho. If I were to establish some temples, I'd add Wat Dahey, Wat chostep, and Wat Yoolookinat. I could go on forever here... Doesn't take much to amuse me, does it? In the afternoon, I rode 30km one way to the Kwang Xi waterfalls. It being rainy season and all, there was a boatload of water tumbling down the mountain - just awemazing (I'm getting tired of using the same old adjectives to describe things, so I'm going to start making words up). But I think I liked the scooter ride just as much as the waterfall itself, especially since the vast majority of the road was unpaved dirt road, where I had to maneuver around potholes and water puddles. Overall, Laos is much greener and less developed than Thailand - that's the alluring part of this country. As such, you won't find top-notch accommodation or anything fancy around here. It's a nature enthusiast's paradise - just so untouched. And the Internet connections are slow as all heck out here. Wednesday, July 24th Rode in the back row of a bus for 7 hours with my knees to my chest, heading south for a town called Vang Vieng. This town is pretty much a small tourist industry and that's it - no real town or village. Really quite a shame. But why? Because this area has some wowtacular mountainsides and caves. In fact, the number one activity for people to do here is rent an inner tube and float down the Nam Song River just to take it all in. So, I did that. Beauty. The mountains are just holeymoleyiscious - looks like a crazy large piece of shale just jutting out of the ground, and a layer could just flake off at any given moment. But it doesn't. Had a really interesting snack from an Indian street vendor - a roti filled with bananas and chocolate (rich chocolate Ovaltine in fact). Mmm, mmm, good. By the way, I leave for home in exactly one month. Terrifying. Thursday, July 25th First off, happy birthday to my big brudder Neeraj. Did a full-day kayaking/spelunking trip today with 13 other fine individuals - by the way, spelunking is the fancy-pants term for cave exploring. This was incredipendous. I got to have my own kayak too, though it wasn't complete with spray skirt and all - so I couldn't practice rolls or anything. But it was still a lot of fun to tool around a bit. The thing that made today a hit though was the spelunking. The second cave we went into was waterlogged, so we had to swim into it in the complete dark. Only the guides had lights, so we were just kinda feeling around to make our way through. Finally, we reached dry land inside, though it was not so dry. We were pretty much walking on mud. This cave served as a home to the locals for 4 months while the U.S. was carpet-bombing the area during the Vietnam War to keep the North Vietnamese from using Laos as a land crossing to the south. There was even a toilet (big hole in the cave), a kitchen area (room with a vented roof), and a large sleeping area. We continued through the cave for another hour or so, none of us knowing in the least what to expect since the guides didn't bother telling us about all this before. I was totally fine with this, but a few others were really disappointed and upset, which I can completely understand. We were scrambling up steep muddy banks several times - no doubt a slip had the potential to fall for quite a ways in the darkness and potentially hit a rock and break something. We even got to slide down a mud-chute into a water pool - I enjoyed this so much that I climbed back up and went again! After squeezing through a very narrow crevice (I could barely fit through it!), I was outside at last. Free at last, free at last. But now where to? And walking in the forest with no shoes? Not only the forest, but also ankle-deep in mud... or at least I thought it was mud until a distinct smell arose. Needless to say, many of us spent some time in the muddy river trying to clean off said "mud". And a nice long shower was in order when I got back to the guesthouse. Friday, July 26th Rode for four hours in the back of a pick-up truck to Vientiane (capital of Laos) this morning. After finally reaching the backpacker area, I did something I should have done before - read the guidebook. After realizing that Vientiane is kinda like Jakarta in having a lack of things to see or do, I went to a travel agent. Fortunately for me, there was still a flight left this afternoon for Hanoi, Vietnam. So, I took it. At the airport, I bumped into an American fellow (Rob) who I had met in Luang Prabang. So we hung out the rest of the evening around Hanoi and just chatted. It was really nice to just talk with someone who's from the same country - it'd been a while. Especially since we could compare notes about our observations and such about everything. I think this is the first Communist country I've ever been in. There seems to be an abundance of red flags everywhere, and plenty of people dressed in a military-looking uniform. But otherwise, Hanoi seems like a normal city. In fact, some have apparently termed it the "Paris of the Orient", a fitting description since Vietnam was under French rule until independence some 55 years ago. There are still many French remnants left in the landscape, architecture, and even food (baguettes are quite common to see on the streets). Saturday, July 27th Spent the morning booking up trips for the next 5-6 days. Then the afternoon was left to explore the city. First stop - Ho Chi Minh Museum. This place is weird - don't even know how to describe it. But they had a room with a bunch of Picasso stuff in it - made no sense at all. UNESCO has designated Ho Chi Minh as being a great leader, and this is the guy we were fighting against in the Vietnam War. Of course, you won't see the U.S. side of the story here. In any case, it's clear that I need to brush up on my history a bit. The rest of the day, I just wandered around the city, checked out a few pagodas, strolled by some lakes, etc. This city has a strong potential to be a really romantic place to spend some time. I've definitely had my fill though. Since I'm not much of a city person, I'm pretty happy that I leave tomorrow morning. By the way, it's frickin’ hot out here. Till next week, -Paraag Tidbits: 1. Pringles are everywhere. I mean absolutely everywhere – even in a small itty-bitty village along the Mekong River between Huie Xay and Luang Prabang. It appears as though they are a bigger hit outside of the U.S. than in the U.S. 2. Red Bull apparently was created in Thailand. It is sold in this area in glass containers that resemble medicine bottles. And it's cheap. Really strange to see. 3. In Laos, the highest denomination bill is 5000 kip, which is equivalent to roughly 50 cents. So, people pretty much walk around with a stack of bills. Larger purchases are made with Thai bahts or US Dollars. 4. Laos and Vietnam both drive on the right side of the road. So, what happens at the land crossings between Thailand (left side) and Laos? Does the road do a twist? Or are there just a bunch of head on collisions?

Trip Update #10

Well, I'm getting closer and closer to being back on schedule... Monday, July 15th Woke up after a second night in paradise - a floating guesthouse on the lake in the middle of nowhere, Thailand. This is the last day of my three day excursion with C&C Jungle Tours (not to be confused with C&C Music Factory - remember "Pump Up the Jam"?). The first item today was to take a rather uninteresting jungle walk over a mildly barren hill and along a paved roadway for about an hour with a guide who didn't speak English. Not quite sure what I was supposed to get out of this, so I just smiled and said thank you. This is an essential tool to survival in a foreign land - the smile and thank you. Learn it well, my young apprentice. The next item was a much better jungle walk, for which I was joined by 6 other people on random trips with this C&C Jungle Tour company. After about an hour's journey, we reached a cave - and a very unlit cave at that. Another non-English speaking guide-type person proceeded to light up an oil lamp and motioned for us to follow him. Somehow it escaped this whole crew that having one lamp for seven people through narrow entrance passages on rocky and slippery terrain won't quite cut it. So four of the other tourists backed out, leaving me, the guide, and one other person as the lone spelunkers. And of course, I was last, so I couldn't see a damn thing. It was fun bumping into very hard rocks with my head and knees and toes and shins and all that. Really it was. Trust me. It was worth it though - the feeling of venturing into a cavern barely able to maneuver through narrow crevices only to find yourself in a huge room is kinda cool. The last item on the agenda was to ride the railway over the actual Bridge over River Kwai, but some other girl got really really really sick and had to be rushed back into town. Somehow, this meant that I couldn't be dropped at the train station, but being in the situation I was without being able to communicate effectively, I simply smiled and said thank you. Almost forgot - the mountains in Thailand are rather peculiar looking. The silhouette of the mountains against the horizon is very random. Imagine a 5 year old's scribble or doodle of one continuous line across a page; this is what the mountains look like. Tuesday, July 16th Not feeling very well today. Tough luck. I had already booked a day trip to Ayuthaya, which was one of the previous capitals of Thailand. The first capital was Sukothai, then Ayuthaya, and now Bangkok. In each case, the new capital was established after the Burmese took over the existing capital and ruined and pillaged it. Needless to say, Thais are not generally fond of Burmese people. Ayuthaya was neat - bunch of old buildings made of brick with Buddhas everywhere. I think Mojo Nixon should rewrite his song "Elvis is Everywhere" to "The Buddha is Everywhere". Though the place was interesting, there's only so much of ruined buildings that I can take - they all start looking the same after the first 15 minutes, regardless of the function of the structure in its previous life. So, I was quite ready to go by the end of the day. Back in Bangkok, I boarded an overnight bus to Chiang Mai, which is way up north in Thailand. Thanks to my comfy down-feather travel pillow (recommended my Scott), I was able to catch some zzzzzzz's. Wednesday, July 17th Arrived in Chiang Mai at 6am. After wandering around a bit to check out hotel prices and trekking prices, I settled on a place called "Nice Place". This is a rather apt name, since it says it all in one phrase. You know that it's not a crappy place or a wonderful place, it tells you right in the name. Life would be so much simpler if everything were so named - KFC could be "overpriced fast food" and Taco Bell could be "drunk/hungover food" and White Castle could be "dain bramaged food". Chiang Mai is Buddhist temple central. There are over 200 temples in this town. So, I spent some time looking around and checking out a few temples. It's just really neat to walk along what appears to be a normal everyday street by most people's definitions, and then all of a sudden be confronted by this beautifully constructed and adorned multiple-level golden A-frame roofed temple every few blocks. Just strange. And kinda cool. At 6pm, I met a bunch of people that I would be stuck with over the next few days on a trekking expedition in the mountains of northern Thailand. We were given an overview of the expedition and what we needed to bring. Then we were let loose. To get better acquainted, a few of us went out and grabbed some dinner and drinks - nothing major. Another relatively low-key day. Thursday, July 18th Began the trek this morning. After having a Nice Shower, checking in my bag and my valuables at the Nice Safety Deposit Box, and getting some Nice Breakfast, we were on our way. There were 13 of us: 5 Brits, 3 Dutch, 3 Americans, and 2 Kiwis. The split was 7 guys, 6 women - not bad at all. We were headed to an area called Pai, which was a good 4-hour drive away. So, we packed into a songtaew (the pick-up truck with a canopy) with our 3 guides and the driver and off we went. Since there was not nearly enough room for us all to sit, two of the guides stood on the tailgate and held on to the roof. Slowly, we started trading places with them for a change of pace. Then, one of the guides hopped onto the roof. Not to be outdone, I hopped up there and joined him. Don't worry - we were wearing our seatbelts! :-) I've been known in the past to drive my car on cruise control and standing up so my head is through the open sunroof - this was a similar sensation. (From the audience, a collective "you idiot!") After our 4-hour drive, we arrived at a Lisu hill tribe village. One chief guide Chan explained the Lisu traditions and conventions, and then we were on our way for a 2-hour hike through the jungle to the next village, where we would stay the night. The path was extremely slippery, so it didn't take long before people were falling. Soon, we even devised a scoring system for falls - 1 point for minor falls and 3 points for major falls. By the end of the two hours, we had lost count because one of the British girls apparently had Teflon for shoes and kept us laughing the whole way. At the Lahu village, we played a little soccer (I was goalie, as usual). My team lost, but not until I was replaced at goal and moved to forward, where I scored two goals. Yes, they were off two very good assists, but hey - I scored! No, I didn't take off my shirt a la Brandi Chastain since I wasn't wearing a shirt. We all had dinner soon afterwards - a homecooked Thai meal, family style with all of us sitting in a big circle. After dinner, the village kids came and sang along with the guitar for us - incredibly adorable. You know how kids sing - with no regard for pitch, volume, rhythm... brought tears to our eyes. Our sleeping quarters were one huge room with a bunch of mattresses on the floor - very communal. The shower was a tap flowing into a bucket. And the bathrooms were umm... squatters. Many of you know what squatters are, and many do not. Those who do not, please ask me some other time for a description. So we sat around, sang songs, drank beer, smoked cigarettes (mostly), and just got to know one another. Really a wonderful day. Friday, July 19th Woke up late this morning and didn't get out of the village until 11:00 or so - a full two hours behind schedule, or so they told us. It had rained all night, so the points were sure to rack up today on the slip-o-meter. But, we were all given walking sticks to use. Apparently, this was the missing link - we recorded a very low number of falls. Oh well. We stopped by a waterfall after a two hour hike to rinse off the thick layer of sweat, sunscreen, and bug spray. Very refreshing. After lunch, we hiked another hour or so before mounting up for an hour long elephant ride. This was incredible - the scenery was gorgeous untouched jungle, and we were riding on elephants. The pictures are sure to be stunning. Of course, just riding on elephants wasn't enough, so we got a hold of a few slingshots and tried to pelt each other with balled up leaves. When am I ever going to get a chance to do that again? After another brief hike, we arrived at a Karen tribe village, where our head guide Chan was from. Same type of setup as the night before. This evening's activity was a local game, which was eerily like a drinking game, except whenever someone messed up, they were the recipient of a char smear on their face from the underbelly of a cooking pot. Different. Saturday, July 20th Our last day on this trek - boo hoo! The major activity today was a 2-hour bamboo raft trip. The raft is as follows – a bunch of bamboo stalks tied together. Then three of us plus a guide are placed on each raft. Each of us has another bamboo stalk to push against the stream bottom to propel us along. This quickly became competitive as we were trying to steal the sticks from other rafts, tip them over, or any number of crazy ludicrous things. But it was definitely good fun. My boat won, which ironically had all three Americans on it. The other American fellow wasted no time in chanting "U.S.A." repeatedly, to the groans of everyone else present. Apparently, it's a commonly held belief that Americans are very arrogant. This fellow was not helping the cause (through the chanting and other conversations that he had with folks). I'm sure that people from other countries to an extent are hearing what they want to hear, but I can see some truth behind these allegations. Most people also claimed that I am very different from the typical American that they meet. So I don't quite know what to believe. But, I guess whether we like it or not, we are all ambassadors of our respective countries and we just need to remember that. This 3 day trek may have been the highlight of my trip so far -it's difficult to say. I just had an incredible time in an incredibly beautiful area. It was simply perfect. Sunday, July 21st Hopped on a government bus for a 6 hour ride to Chiang Khong. This was a luxury bus, fully equipped with A/C. Unfortunately, the A/C was too strong and I froze my tail off. Oh well. Chiang Khong is a border town from which I crossed the Mekong river to get into Laos. Laos is a country - really, it is. Go look on the map. In fact, Hank Hill's neighbor Hanh is from Laos. So I spent the night in this sleepy little town on the Laos side called Huie Xay, not to be confused with the neighboring towns of Louie Xay and Dewey Xay. My room was the most basic possible - a full bed with four walls and not much more. In fact the four walls weren't really finished walls - my side of the wall had the beams exposed. But there were some friendly spiders that were sharing the room with me. Bumped into a guy that was on the bus from Chiang Mai with me at a restaurant and I ended up hanging out with the group he was with for the rest of the evening. They were enjoying a few bottles of the local rice whiskey. Before I myself partook, I figured that I should examine the bottle. It read "1999 Bordeaux". Oh well, bottoms up! After finishing this bottle, the waitress told us that they were out. I think she was secretly trying to get rid of us, since one person in our party was busy feeding his dinner to the shrubberies. Till next week, -Paraag Tidbits: 1. It's rainy season here. This means that it's impossible for clothes to dry, so my bag smells like umm... wet underwear. Yecch! 2. The humidity also causes it to not take much to begin sweating. And sweating is like "breaking the seal" - once you start, it's difficult to stop. 3. The unit of currency in Thailand is the baht. To pronounce this word, imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger saying "Baht I don't want fries with that" and there you have it. 4. I've had a strikingly small amount of satay in Thailand. But I've had enough chicken fried rice to last me a lifetime. This is the "fish and chips" or "cheeseburger and fries" of Southeast Asia without a doubt.

Trip Update #9

It just feels like a few short days ago that I wrote you last... oh wait, it was just a few short days ago. Or at least it was when I started writing this damn thing... I've come to the realization that there is no way that I'll be able to stick to a schedule of sending out updates. There's so many places that I'll be heading to over the next few weeks that have no Internet access at all. So, you'll just have to make do with whatever and whenever I dish it out. Monday, July 8th Today, Brian and I went out in search of a dive shop, with whom to flex our scuba muscles and plunge into the depths of the murky waters below. Except that the water wasn't murky. It just sounds better calling it murky. Apparently, all the dive shops on the beach have done us a "favor" by standardizing their prices. So, shopping around will get you nothing cheaper. While this will save us time, I'm sure that in the end, the consumer is getting screwed. We ended up selecting this place called Stingray Divers, solely because they were extremely laid-back and willing to make trips whenever and wherever we wanted to. Luckily, this was not at the expense of professionalism. So, I did two dives today - one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Both were pretty good dives - lots of fishees. Crystal clear blue water. Kinda like you'd expect a dive to be like off of a tropical isle. Tuesday, July 9th Did three dives today with Stingray. The first one was to a place called Temple in the Sea, where the visibility was just awesome at about 20m. We saw 6-7 nurse sharks hanging out underneath some coral (nurse sharks are the only sharks that can breath without swimming along), a few larger black tipped sharks scurrying along the ocean floor, a number of blue spotted rays, and a whole school of barracuda - every time I say or write "barracuda", that 80's song sung by some woman (Pat Benatar perhaps?) keeps popping in my head. I wish it wouldn't. Make the voices stop. For the love of God, just make the voices stop. Whoops! Sorry about that. Anyway, we saw some barra... umm.. you know. Our Canadian divemaster guy even wrote on his underwater slate "It just doesn't get any better than this". Wasn't that the slogan of Old Milwaukee beer or something? I faintly remember a commercial way back when with a bunch of cowboys sitting around a campfire drinking beer, and one of them uttering that phrase. Obviously, that cowboy guy was wrong - just ask our Canadian divemaster guy. He'll tell you. The afternoon dive was a little less spectacular. Just as we were heading off, a huge storm came overhead and the visibility in the water became very poor with strong currents. But, we did see a huge sea turtle - at least four feet in length. That's almost bigger than my sister! The third dive of the day was a night dive. I think this is the sort of thing that I want to do much much more of. Not being able to see a damn thing just increases the adrenaline rush tenfold. Not that I'm into adrenaline rushes or anything... Ironically enough, this was the absolute worst dive I've ever had. Everything that could go wrong went wrong, except that I didn't die (sorry Marcus, can't have my Alfa). As soon as I got into the water, my legs started to cramp. Had to stretch them a few times to get okay again. Later, my toes started to cramp - but there's nothing you can do about that. Then, I was having an equalization problem with my ears and had to mess with that for a while. My scuba partner Brian seemed to not know where he was or where I was, so I had to keep tabs on him to make sure that we were close to each other. Through all of these problems, I was consuming air faster than normal, so my air pressure started getting low quickly. And, as the last straw, the battery in my flashlight started fading until it was no longer working at the end, so getting someone else's attention under water was close to impossible. But I still did get to see a few crabs, a ray or two, several cuttlefish, and an eel. After the dive, it was apparent that I didn't get my equalization right, since my right ear was absolutely killing me. Sleep was difficult to come by. Wednesday, July 10th Took a speedboat back to Kuala Besut on the mainland and bid adieu to the islands. From Kuala Besut, we took a taxi to Thailand. Doesn't that sound neat? I mean, how many times in your lifetime will you be able to hop in a taxi and say "To Thailand!". Guess I can check that one off the "list of things to do before I die". The border crossing was pretty simple. Walk partway across a bridge and check out of Malaysia, like a hotel checkout ending with an additional stamp in the passport (my favorite part). Walk a little further and check into Thailand. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. In Thailand, we walked a kilometer in the blazing heat to the nearest town, and then made preparations to head up north. Our first stop was initially planned to be Ko Tau - an island off the east coast of Southern Thailand that is supposed to have great diving. But seeing that my ears were still hurting, I wasn't really up for going diving again so soon. And Rayman had come to the conclusion that he needed to cut his trip short lest he lose his sweet downtown NYC apartment (and the girlfriend that came with it). So Rayman and I booked a 21-hour train to Bangkok, and Brian hopped off the train after 9 hours to take a ferry over to Ko Tao. Along the way on the train, I inadvertently befriended some local Thais in a very interesting manner. So here's the story... You see... these older fellas started drinking some whiskey and generally having a good old time. Soon, one of them had a little too much and decided to go to sleep at the oh so early hour of 7:30 p.m.. Since we were in a sleeper car and I had the upper berth, this meant that I would be confined to a very cramped space up top way earlier than necessary. So, I retaliated by giving the guys "evil eye" and commenting loudly to Rayman that they could have been polite and had the beds made on the other side instead of bothering me, a total stranger. After a while they genuinely felt bad, and talked to me every five seconds thereafter, trying to get me to consume some whiskey with them. Finally they went away and I was in peace again. Thursday, July 11th Arrived in Bangkok at 9am or so. We took a tuk-tuk (a small open air three wheeler scooter like taxi) to Khao San Road, where all the backpackers stay. After some shopping around, we settled at this place called Green House Inn. Turns out that this place is pretty much jam-packed with Israelis. So it was me, Rayman, and a bunch of Jews. Hmm... A Hindu, a Muslim, and a bunch of Jews - sounds like a good movie title to me! Starring Gilbert Gottfried, Whoopi Goldberg, and Barbara Streisand as the Jews, Omar Sharif as the Muslim, and Jason Scott Lee as a very Chinese-looking Hindu (hey, it worked for The Jungle Book). As expected, we spent all evening singing Hava Nagila and having a grand old time. Would you believe that I learned 3-4 Jewish songs while attending Hindu summer camps when I was a kid? I remember the shocked look on my Jewish friends' faces at college when I started singing "Shalom Chaverim" one drunken evening. We went and caught some Thai boxing this evening – ringside seats. The fights weren't as bloody as they seemed they should be, but I'm not much of a fan of this stuff anyway. It was still good to see something different though. The fifth fight we saw pitted two boys who seemed to be roughly 9 years of age each. This was different enough for us, so we took off. I have no desire to see something like that, let alone watch other people egg them on and even gamble on it. Just doesn't seem right. It gets difficult at times like this to remember that things are not always as they seem to the Western eye, and the important thing is to not rush to a judgment just because this is not acceptable in our society. After the Thai boxing match, we went to the Sukhamvit area of Bangkok. As many of you may know, Bangkok is very famous for just what it's name sounds like in English - the flesh trade. Sukhamvit is one of those areas specializing in this. In all honesty (and I know you won't believe me), neither Rayman nor I really had any interest in seeing this stuff, but it's just one of those things that must be seen here. So we walked around the area, watching tons of Western guys with Thai girls on their arms, got solicited numerous times to go into this establishment or that establishment, and so forth. In the end, we just went back to the hotel (really Mom - we did). Friday, July 12th Today, we did the tourist thing. We first went to a temple with a very large reclining Buddha, where we met a Puerto Rican guy who worked for P&G in Australia in marketing for animal medicine. Go figure. Next, we went to the Great Palace. This place was just superb - no words can describe how stunningly beautiful it was. I was having a hard time figuring out what to take pictures of; there were simply too many things to photograph. I almost felt like I was doing a disservice to some buildings by not photographing them also. One of the temples in this complex contains the "Emerald Buddha". I'll let you in on a secret: it's not made of emerald; it's made of jade. Don't tell the Thais though - it's a secret. This Emerald (hee!) Buddha sits atop a very large infinitely ornate gold mounting of some sort. But we weren't allowed to photograph it. We also spent some time at a tailor getting three suits and five silk shirts for Rayman and his new Wall Street job – all custom made and for relatively cheap. It almost made me sad that I didn't need any suits for work. Okay, I take that back. All day, we were continually getting solicited for some "boom boom", which meant a massage plus a little something extra. I took this as a compliment, since you know - how worthless would you feel if even the pimps turned you down? Saturday, July 13th Early this morning, Rayman took off for the airport in hopes of securing a standby ticket to get home a week early. So, we split up, and cried a last goodbye. Parting is such sweet sorrow... I began a 3 day / 2 night trip this morning to Kanchanaburi, where the infamous Bridge over River Kwai is situated. This is an old WWII bridge that was part of a railway commissioned by the Japanese to connect Bangkok and Burma to have a way to ship supplies and ammunitions to troops trying to advance into Burma and India. This railway was built mainly by POWs from the war and by many locals under very excruciatingly oppressive conditions. About 30% of all those who worked on it died during the construction. Very very sad indeed. We saw a cemetery, rode a bamboo raft under the famous "Bridge", had an hour-long elephant-ride (baby elephants are so unbelievably cute, by the way), an area of the railway called "Hellfire Pass", rode on the famous train for a little bit, petted a tiger at an animal sanctuary, and... oh yeah, gotta tell this story. One of the girls in our group was absolutely convinced that all tigers have attacked humans at some point or another and kept on giving crap to the monk who was taking care of the animals. Truth is that tigers are more scared of us than we are of them. The monk kept on saying, "No, no, tiger is friend. See?" and put his entire hand in the tiger's mouth. She didn't buy it. Clearly she must be right since her entire experience with tigers is what she's seen on TV, and as we all know the TV never lies. Back to the story... umm… that's really about it for today.All transport around the area was by songtaew - picture a pickup with a high canopy over the truck bed. Along each side of the pickup, there is a bench seat. That's about it. For one of the short journeys, I only had one cheek on the bench, and had to brace myself with my foot against the open tailgate to make sure I didn't fall out. Good times. Our accommodations were out in the middle of nowhere – a floating little guesthouse on a lake. No electricity at all - had to use oil lamps. Rooms were very basic with just a mattress on a floor. And we had authentic Thai food for dinner, served family style. Awesome. Sunday, July 14th After breakfast this morning, we all hopped on a small bamboo raft pulled by a longtail boat. What's a longtail boat? It looks to me as though they took out the engine and driveshaft from a perfectly good automobile, secured the engine down to the back of a fishing boat, and tacked on a propeller at the end of the drive shaft (making it a long tail). I don't quite understand why they didn't use an outboard motor like most other boats in existence. Then, we entered the Erawan National Park, where we spent about 3 hours hiking and swimming around a cascade of seven beautiful waterfalls. Simply gorgeous. Unfortunately, it was too gorgeous and so everyone and their mother-in-law's pet cat were there. Still well worth it. After a fried rice boxed lunch, we saw some hot springs - which appeared to me like two little pools of water that were man-made. I didn't see any spring. Of course, our guide couldn't speak a lick of English, so we just smiled so that we could get on with the rest of our lives. Okay. Gotta run. Have lots of figuring out to do for the next few days' adventure. -Paraag Tidbits 1. It's neat to see how the American fast food restaurant franchises have adapted to the cultures in Asian countries. For example, KFC in Bangkok had silverware and served beverages in actual glasses. And, they served rice with some of the meals. They also serve ice cream here. McDonald's has a McCyber Cafe. 2. Mental note to read up on WWII a little more when I get home. There's so much that I don't remember from my high school history class. 3. If you ever read a British novel, keep in mind that lighting up a fag doesn't mean that to set fire to a homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that, oh wait... yes, there is), rather it refers to lighting up a cigarette. Also, getting pissed means getting drunk. And you thought you wouldn't learn anything from this message... 4. Why do they call him "the Buddha" rather than just "Buddha"? I should probably know this, since Buddhism sprouted from Hinduism, so I guess I'm a bad Hindu.

Trip Update #8 - a little late

For those of you who have been counting on my updates as your Monday morning coffee break/sanity check, my apologies for this being a little tardy. But as my mother says, "it's better to be delayed than the late" (sounds much better with a thick Indian accent). Essentially, we had no Internet access from 7/5 till 7/11. In the interest of keeping this relatively short, and allowing me to get to sleep sometime soon, I'll limit this to just a weekly update (till Sunday, 7/7). I'll type up the update in a few days to completely catch up. So here's what happened... Monday, July 1st A little diddy kept playing in my head all day long. It went something like "This is my birthday song, it isn't very long" (lyrics courtesy Aruna, visual imagery courtesy Saravanan). So how did I spend my 28th birthday? Why by visiting temples of course! What else would I do? Something a tad bit unholier? Never. The morning started off with a trip to Borobudur, a very massive Buddhist temple that was constructed around a hill, such that there is no real interior to the temple - just the shell around a hill. This place is deemed by the folks who spend their lives deeming stuff to be one of the seven ancient wonders of the world. This clearly begs the question, how often is it that one of the ancient wonders of the world (Borobudur) and one of the modern wonders of the world (me) are united? Truly a special occasion for everyone involved. This afternoon, we went to Prambanan, which is a massive Hindu temple complex that was built about the same time that Borobudur was. To me, it was equally spectacular. So why isn't it an ancient wonder of the world too? I guess because they only had one spot and they had to flip a coin. That would be the only fair way to do it. Brian and Rayman were rock stars all day. Everyone wanted to take their picture with the white guy and the brown guy with blond hair. No love for the brown guy who's keeping it real. On his birthday nonetheless. Tuesday, July 2nd After about 3 hours of sleep, Rayman and I got up to go to Mt. Merapi - an active volcano just north of Yogyakarta. It was really cool because we got to see some hot liquid magma (spoken Dr. Evil style) spill from the top of the mountain and roll down the mountainside. This sight can't be seen during the day – too much steam and smoke and whatnot. Late this evening, we boarded a overnight train to Jakarta. This train was actually quite comfortable - the seats were rather wide, reclined pretty far, and they gave us decent size pillows and blankets. Better than air travel in the US by far. Except that we didn't get any peanuts, not that it's such a big bag. Wednesday, July 3rd Got into Jakarta. We quickly realized why the tour books tell people to avoid this place. There's nothing to do here. Apparently, one of the previous dictators (Soekarno) saw it fit to spend valuable country resources in constructing useless and tasteless monuments around the city. There's one in the central square of the city called Monas (or National Monument) that kind of looks like the Washington Monument with a wider bulge of an observation deck at the top. The Indonesians love it so much that they call it Soekarno's Last Erection. I guess it was the last monument the he commissioned in the city - that would explain the nickname. We spent the morning trying to figure out how to get to the harbour, since this harbour was supposed to be one of the more interesting places in Jakarta. Along the way, we ate breakfast at an A&W's. I've never eaten at an A&W's in my life, so I guess Indonesia is as good a place as any to start. But they did have unlimited ketchup. I suggested to the counter lady that they use this as a major advertising ploy. She couldn't see the light. So after a lot of trouble, we finally make it to the harbour. It was pretty lame. A bunch of people unloading lumber off of schooners. That's about it. In the afternoon, we hopped a flight to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. Before I forget, during our entire stay in this city, a favorite joke between me and Brian was "Lumpur, I don't even know her". Thank you, thank you. Next show in half an hour. Immediately upon reaching Malaysia, we noticed a distinct difference. This place seemed clean and modern and orderly and all those other adjectives that are generally associated with Western nations. Apparently, Prime Minister Mahathir has a Year 2020 Goal to get Malaysia unlisted as a third-world country. They're on the right track. We stayed in Chinatown where all the backpackers go, and immediately started looking around for a place. I was convinced that we could find somewhere that didn't have all the bells and whistles and met our basic needs for cheap. And I persuaded Rayman and Brian to agree with me. So, we found a pretty good place, checked out the room and everything seemed fine. Suddenly, I see Rayman point to the bed, mouth agape trying to find words to express himself. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the object of his attention. The upper bunk was already inhabited! Let me describe this being as in a matrimonial ad: two inches, hard brown exoskeleton, six legs, carries many many diseases. Before you could say Jehosephat, I was outta there. Fortunately we stumbled upon a very nice hotel a few blocks away - it was at least twice as much as the Roach Motel, but this was no time to be a cheapskate. Rayman and Brian were thoroughly enjoying this, having finally found my weakness to not accepting meager accommodations. Thursday, July 4th I felt so fat and lazy this morning that I decided that I would look around for somewhere to run. It didn't work. I ended up jogging on streets, and having to pause to navigate through traffic to cross the streets. But it felt nice to get some blood pumping. Kuala Lumpur (also known as KL) was crazy hot and humid. So what better a thing to get for breakfast than some spicy Indian food! We're idiots. First stop on our walking tour today was Merdeka Square, where Malaysia declared its independence from the Brits sometime in the 40s, I think. Now the square is home of SE Asia's tallest flagpole. Whoopty frickin doo. Since it had been two whole countries ago since we had visited a tower (last one was in Sydney), we walked a few kilometers to the KL Tower and purchased tickets for the observation deck to get a good view of the entire city. We also got an audio tour free with the observation deck ticket, which meant that we got to wear headphones and listen to some lady tell us about KL. At Station #9, this lady also explained to us that Satay originated in Malaysia and not in Thailand. She followed this proclamation by purring a convincingly sexy "mmmmm". Rayman and Brian were fascinated by this (or turned on - I wasn't about to look), and replayed Station #9 over and over. I had to peel them away. Such children. Sheesh. Chinatown's Night Market was particularly interesting. They had DVDs on sale for Spiderman, Men In Black II, Minority Report, Blade II, Star Wars - Episode II, and other movies that hadn't even made it to theatres yet. Felt like Spaceballs all over again. Friday, July 5th Checked out of our comfortable luxurious hotel in Chinatown and took a shuttle bus north to Taman Negara National Park – the oldest rainforest in the world (apparently, it survived the last ice age). After a three hour shuttle bus ride, which included a brief stop for breakfast at an Indian place where an omelette was the equivalent of a quarter and a dosa cost 50 cents. Mmmmmm.... dosa (if you don't know what this is, ask your friendly neighborhood brown person). Anyway, after this bus ride, we hopped on a riverbus for a 3-hour journey to the park. Well, they call it a riverbus. I liked to think of it as an overgrown canoe with a roof and an outboard motor. Nevertheless, the 3-hour journey was very peaceful and relaxing, though our butts were glad when it was over. We had decided not to stay at the resort and village and instead stay at Nusa Camp 15 minutes upstream so that we could be more in touch with nature. Well, we succeeded in that – we were bombarded with mosquitoes at every waking moment, and our shared bathroom played host to all sorts of creatures, including a bunch of 1.5 inch ants - I kid you not. Saturday, July 6th This morning was a nightmare. We had run out of money and needed to change some US dollars, but Nusa Camp didn't know the exchange rate and wouldn't do it for us. We also still needed to pay for permits to be able to hike around the national park. To do both of these things, we needed to get back to the village, but the first boat back was at 11:15. By the time everything was said and done, it was 1pm before we could get started. So at 1pm we were ready to start our journey, and who did we bump into? Alfin and Christine - the Canadian couple who I hiked with at 3am to see the sunrise over Mt. Bromo in Indonesia. Go figure. So we all spent the afternoon together. The highlight of the afternoon was the 421 meter canopy walkway, which is a series of rope bridges going from treetop to treetop. Felt kinda like that scene from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, except with a rope bridge and no hottie martial arts expert trying to kick my butt. The afternoon was crazy hot and humid - we were perspiring like we had spent all day "Sweatin to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons (hey, at least it wasn't a Deal a Meal reference – How do I remember this crap?). So, we spent an hour tubing down the river to cool off. Niiiiiiice. Sunday, July 7th Caught the 9am riverbus to get out of the park. We were in a bit of a rush to get 300 km away to Kuala Besut, where we planned to catch the last ferry to the Perhentian Islands. We had arranged for a taxi to pick us up for this purpose. Our taxi was a hoot - it was a late 70s model Mercedes with an old Chinese guy for a driver, who didn't like to go above 60 kmh. After I complained that we'd never get there in time, he switched us over halfway to another taxi. This was much better - an early 70's model Mercedes with no air conditioning and an old Malaysian guy who didn't speak a lick of English driving. But he passed cars like nobody's business. We got to Kuala Besut a few minutes before the last ferry - just in luck. Aiming to learn from our Taman Negara mistake, we decided to stay on Long Beach at the Perhentian Islands, which was the most popular area. By the time we got there, it was nightfall and most places were booked. Finally, when we got to the last place on the beach, we found a suitable room. All in all, it was a bit of a nerve-wracking day. Since we all had that no-so-fresh feeling, we took turns showering and then had a bite to eat. The Perhentian Islands are primarily two major islands, with some teeny-tiny surrounding islands. The Malaysians were very selective when they named these two major islands: they called them Perhentian Kecil and Perhentian Besar, where Kecil means "small" and besar means "big". That must have been tough. But the islands are beautiful, the water is crystal-clear, and the beaches are real nice. It's not overdeveloped, so you get a nice cozy feel. Finished two more books - The Jesus Man by Christos Tsiolkas and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling. I'm a reading machine. Till 60 hours from now, when I write the next update, -Paraag Tidbits 1. No Bill, there is no city called BooBoo-akarta. 2. Quite possibly the best feeling in the world is a cool shower after a day in hot sticky weather. This might be a close second to the sensation of taking your ski boots off after a long day of skiing (what my brother calls "the best part of skiing"). 3. The first American television I've watched in two months happened at Nusa Camp in Taman Negara, of all places - a very funny episode of Dilbert. There's probably some learning in here about how I probably watch more TV than necessary and all that, but I refuse to accept this theorem.

Trip Update #7

Warning!!! Warning!!! Contents of this e-mail may not be nearly as exciting as previous e-mails with similar subject lines. But the experience is better, and I'm happy for that. Monday, June 24th I lost a lot of weight today. Unfortunately, it was weight from my backpack - I sent home about 5.7 kg of clothes that I won't need for the remainder of the trip because of climate differences. Now my backpack doesn't even feel like it's there. Today is transition day (T-Day for those of you who cannot exist without some sort of acronym in your lives). We officially transitioned from a modern Western-style civilization to third world nations, where we will spend the remainder of the trip. Fortunately, this also comes with the benefit of being less costly. We arrived on the island of Bali, Indonesia at about midnight. Okay - geography check here... how many of you actually knew that Bali is an island and not the name of a city? That's what I thought. Yeah, yeah, I know. Flying into Bali isn't exactly throwing ourselves into the middle of nowhere of a poverty-stricken nation, but I wasn't complaining. Upon arriving to Bali, we were met full-force with the realization that we are in a completely different world. Since we did not have onward plane tickets out of Indonesia, we had to slip a little cash under the table to get our visa to get in. Otherwise, I'd be writing you from the airport right now. Our next rude awakening occurred moments later when a porter who grabbed our luggage asked for a 50,000 Rupiah tip (8500 Rp = $1 US). The absolute most he should get tipped is 5000 Rp, but I wasn't in much of a mood for fussing so I settled for 10,000 Rp to get him out of our way so we could get to the hotel and catch some sleep. Checked into the hotel in Kuta on the island of Bali somewhere around 1:30 a.m.. This was a much fancier place than I had actually anticipated staying at - 180,000 Rp for the two of us for one night. But it was nice to stay in comfortable bed in an air-conditioned room after a long day. Since it's so cheap in Southeast Asia, it's unlikely that we'll often have to stay in shared facilities accommodations like we did all of Australia and New Zealand. Tuesday, June 25th Woke up and met Brian (Rayman's friend from business school), who'll be with us until we get to Bangkok in late June. At that time, both Rayman and Brian will fly home and leave me all to my lonesome. Please do your best to hold back your tears. Kuta is a tourist trap. Pretty much full of beach-going tourists, everything required to cater to these tourists' whims, and that's about it. As such, it was our intent to get the heck out of there as soon as possible. So, we headed to Ubud about 40 km or so north. From here, we will explore the rest of the island and hopefully see some Balinese culture. We were aboard a so-called luxury bus for our 3-hour journey. Along the way, we picked up so many people that there were backpacks all through the aisles and people sitting wherever it was possible. Having experienced much worse overcrowded transportation systems in India, this brought back fond memories. I think Rayman and Brian were a little shell-shocked. In Ubud, we decided to stay at a local fellow's little Bed & Breakfast type place for Rp 25,000 each. Pretty cheap. Our first agenda item for the day was to walk through the Monkey Forest, where a bunch of monkeys wait for you to walk by and hand over your food. If you are dumb enough to hold onto your food, the monkeys WILL get it. They're very good at this. Rayman and Brian loved this place. But since monkeys are evil, I was a little indifferent. But I did like the forest aspect - it looked like a jungle out of the movies, complete with an ancient Hindu temple situated in a narrow crevice at the bottom of a valley where a stream flowed. I don't even know how to describe this place to you. It was just cool. So, for those of you trying to picture all of this at home, now would be the time to say "wow" so that we can continue with our story. Wednesday, June 26th We hired the owner of the place we were staying at to drive us around a bit to see the sights. Most of these sights were old and had something to do with Hinduism - an old cave temple, a Hindu relief carved in the side of a small cliff, a temple at the bottom of a very large valley, and a bunch of temples near a volcano (which erupted about 15 years ago, destroying many of the 1000+ year old structures) collectively called Pura Besakih, otherwise known as the "mother temple". I personally have no idea what "mother temple" really means with respect to the practice of Hinduism. I guess they just meant to emphasize the fact that this was a large complex of temples. Perhaps the monikers "kick-ass temple" or "da bomb" were already taken by other temples in the region and this one had to scrape by with whatever was remaining. The food here so far has been rather exceptional. Went to a buffet for lunch, where Brian apparently somehow obtained a bottomless stomach and had eight servings of food. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure he got his money's worth. I think he did. Brian is not a large human being by the way - about 170 lbs. Rayman and I immediately fell to my knees and praised "we're not worthy" to him. Thursday, June 27th Slept in today. Unfortunately, the neighborhood roosters don't quite understand the meaning of sunrise and were pretty much crowing all night long (like the Lionel Richie song). It's times like these that I'm thankful for the invention of earplugs. I got these from Rayman, and not from work, so I can't get fired for stealing company property. Brian went out on his own to buy some traditional Balinese paintings, while Rayman and I went shopping to get some lightweight pants and shorts for the remainder of the trip. At one of the shops, we had the pleasure of meeting the most beautiful saleslady in Bali. Cute face, wonderful smile, long wavy black hair, the right height (meaning shorter than me!), 23 years of age, and of course a great body. She even called me handsome! (I refuse to believe that this was a ploy to get me to buy something. If it was, she was successful.) Then I found out that she was married and my day was ruined. We boarded a bus at 6pm to leave the island of Bali and enter the island of Java. We were on our way to Probolinggo in the eastern part of Java, from where we were planning on seeing the sunrise the next morning over the Mt. Bromo volcano and surrounding mountains. Unfortunately, we were delayed by 4 hours at the ferry terminal and didn't make it there until 6am or so. Friday, June 28th In the bus were two other tourist couples who were planning on doing the same thing as we were. So, the seven of us pooled our buying power into getting larger discounts for everything in the area - transportation, hotel accommodations, jacket rentals, everything. This was fun. We headed up to a small village at the base of the mountains where we checked in and took a nap. Buses are not the easiest places in the world to catch some zzzzz's. I thought it was rather interesting that this bus had more legroom than I have ever had in a bus, especially in a country that was full of short people like me. After napping, we walked around and enjoyed the scenery. Being that we were already about 1000+ meters above sea level, it started getting really really chilly outside. Pretty amazing considering how warm it has been otherwise. Saturday, June 29th Woke up at 2:30 am to hike up a mountain to a lookout point to see the sunrise at 5:30 am. Okay I lied. Since I napped for so long the previous afternoon, I couldn't sleep at all. So I pulled an all-nighter. So, here we were, 5 of us hiking up a hill in the middle of the night. Surprisingly enough, we didn't need a flashlight - the moon was directly overhead and was radiating more than enough light. This made for a rather surreal hike along with a clear sky and stars that went forever. With me were a Canadian couple that we had met on the bus and two British girls that I had never met (Rayman and Brian decided to be driven up the mountain by jeep). Turns out that this Canadian guy, who happened to be half Indian, was born on the same exact day as me - July 1st, 1974. (By the way, that means that for most of you, today is my birthday. So get sending me those e-birthday cards already.) This guy told me that July 1st is Canada Day, and so he was bragging that the entire country celebrates his birthday. Entire country? What - all 18 1/2 people? That's not a country, that's a suburb. I topped him by explaining that the entire world celebrates my half birthday every year by going to parties and getting drunk and lighting fireworks and even making resolutions that they will never keep. (For those of you not well versed in the art of using a calendar and basic 2nd grade math, my half birthday is on January 1st, otherwise known as New Years Day.) The sunrise was spectacular. No other words to describe it. Just a lot of pictures. This digital camera was an excellent pre-trip purchase. After getting back to the hotel and packing up, the three of us began a 9 hour journey in a minivan to Yogyakarta. This minivan had air conditioning. But there was a minor technical issue in that this air conditioning didn't work. So, we had to leave the windows open the entire trip, during which passing buses and trucks gave us large presents of toxic gas to breathe in and irreparably damage our lungs. Gee. And you thought New York City driving was bad. Our driver was nuts, but he got us to our destination in one piece. Rayman even refused to sit on the right side of the minivan (the side facing the oncoming traffic - yes, these people drive on the wrong side of the road) because he was scared that we were going to hit another vehicle. The roads here have one very simple rule – size is king. If you are in the larger vehicle, you have the right of way. No ifs, ands, or buts. Lane demarcations mean nothing. They should really just save the paint and leave the road blank. But in the midst of all this seeming chaos, I never saw a single accident. And the overall volume through these roads is far greater than any road in the US because of the lack of enforced rules. Makes you wonder if we got it right or if they do. Checked into a place in the heart of Yogyakarta. We've pooled our resources and got the VIP poolside room with an extra bed for about Rp 170,000 - still less than $8 per day per person. Can't beat it. Actually, we could stay in a room as little as Rp 20,000 per person if we wanted to. Sunday, June 30th Hung out in Yogyakarta all day. Walked along the streets a little, rode in the bicycle rickshaws (as little as Rp 1000 for 1/2 km), visited the sultan's palace grounds, and checked out a local Batik art gallery - where all three of us made some nice purchases. And, of course, we watched Brazil beat Germany in the World Cup finals. Great game. Wish you folks at home were actually awake to see it. We've decided to go directly to Malaysia from here. The initial plan was to go west and explore the Indonesian island of Sumatra before heading over to Singapore. But because of time constraints, we're just going to cut out Sumatra and Singapore. Supposedly, there's nothing really that great about Singapore anyway - other than the zoo. But certainly it cannot compare with the world-class zoo we have in Cincinnati. This also means that I'll get one less visa stamp in my passport. What a shame. I can't believe that my trip is half over already. That sucks. Somehow it still feels like an extended vacation. On the other hand, I can't imagine having to go back to work anytime soon. Thank goodness that I have almost two more months to come to grips with this reality. Tidbits: 1. Everything is negotiable here. Nothing is really a fixed price (with the possible exception of postage stamps). We even bargained down the price of a buffet at a restaurant. To newcomers, this bargaining thing can become addictive quite quickly. Brian met one person who has been buying things that she didn't need just because of the thrill of getting a much much lower price than initially quoted. Something tells me that she's not the real winner in these transactions. 2. The rapid Westernization of countries like Indonesia has left its mark. The government is ill equipped to deal with things like the overcrowded highways, excessive pollution from vehicles, and litter lining each and every street and highway. Indeed it makes you wonder whether or not it is truly in the people's interests to rapidly Westernize these societies, or is it in the corporations' best interests. The two are not the same. You get the real sense that the rich just got richer and the poor just got poorer. 3. There are hawkers absolutely everywhere. You can't walk down the street without someone walking up to you trying to sell you something. There are even hawkers shoving things through the windows while you're at the gas stations. Just like India. In a strange way, I feel very much at home here. So much at home that it feels weird not being able to converse with the locals in my broken Hindi or my parents' native language of Marathi.