Trip Update #13

I'm in trouble - it's the accursed 13th update. Or perhaps it's a good sign, since I've survived the 13th week. Hmmm... Monday, August 5th On the road again this morning - this time to a town called Hoi An. Hoi An is a picturesque little town situated about 5 km from the beach and boasts a fabulously untouched "Old Town" area for the romantics in all of us. See? I really could be a travel guide writer. After finding a room acceptable enough for me (i.e. cheap), I headed out to take part in Hoi An's favorite pastime - shopping. This area is famous for getting custom-tailored clothes at bargain basement prices. Who am I to buck a trend? So, I checked it out. Having no idea what I was looking for, I walked into a shop and stood there rather cluelessly. This reminds me of a rule that I learned at work that I clearly paid no regard: Have a plan. I had no idea what I wanted to get made at all, and no idea how much I wanted to spend on it. Sensing correctly that my mind was blank slate to be manipulated, the salesladies did rather well - convincing me to order 2 pants and 5 shirts that evening. Total: $60. They would be ready tomorrow at 11 am. I can't even get pants hemmed that quick or for that cheap in the States. Next item on the agenda was squaring away travel plans for the next few days. Like any sane person, I went to see Mr. Phuc (pronounced "fook"). Normally I don't comment on making travel plans - it's a given that happens at every city I've visited. But I couldn't not tell you about my new friend Mr. Phuc (pronounced "fook") now, could I? That Mr. Phuc (pronounced "fook"), he's a good guy. Tuesday, August 6th Agenda for today - nothing major. Just relax. Since I've been pretty much non-stop since getting into Vietnam (well, probably since Bangkok, actually), I figured I'd just relax for a day and have nothing specific on the agenda. Except for shopping. So I swung by the tailor shop to check out the clothes. I didn't know clothes were actually supposed to fit like this. It's amazing. I can never find my size in pants - it's virtually impossible. So I usually have to buy pants and have them hemmed for an additional charge. This also results in the pants being a bit baggier than necessary. But not these pants. I would have to get some more. And these shirts! Apparently, I have long arms for my torso size. So, to get long-sleeve shirts that fit my arms, I end up having a whole lot of shirt leftover to tuck into my pants. But not these shirts. I would have to get some more. In a few short minutes (or about an hour), I had ordered 3 more pants, 1 more shirt, a 3-piece black tuxedo, and a ¾ length gray Cashmere jacket - all for $110 more. Not bad. And I thought that this stuff was cheap in Bangkok (sorry Rayman!). And to top it all off, all of this stuff would be ready this very evening. I'm not making this up. There's also a bunch of art galleries here. So I perused and browsed to my heart's content. I picked, bargained, and purchased three pieces. And, of course, I'll end up spending a heck of a lot more on getting them framed in the States than I spent on the actual piece of art. Surely this isn't the way it's supposed to happen. After spending 2 hours and $50 in the post office to send 7 kg of clothes home (ETA Winter 2002), I was pooped. So much for a day to relax. And I didn't even get to hit the beach. I was so pooped that dinner consisted of the water and Pringles that the tailor shop gave me as parting gifts (see? Pringles are universal). Wednesday, August 7th Got a cab to the airport in Danang this morning to catch a flight to Saigon. I wasn't feeling in such top shape – the evidence points at my gourmet dinner from the previous evening. So, when I got to Saigon, I found a room and then crashed for a few hours before walking around. Saigon is a bit of a misnomer - it's actually Ho Chi Minh City, which has 16 districts in it. District 1 is the concentrated downtown area, which is called Saigon. The older generation still calls the entire city Saigon though. All of the buildings around here are very very narrow and long. So is my hotel. My room is on the 4th floor - #402. Somehow, this translates to having to climb 5 sets of stairs. Haven't quite figured out the math on this one yet. Thursday, August 8th Still not feeling too great, so I slept in this morning before heading out to see the Saigon sights in the afternoon. First stop - Emperor of Jade Pagoda. But I couldn't see any jade anywhere, and there certainly wasn't an Emperor hanging out there, so I was confused. This time a little more than the standard level of confusion typically lingering in my head. But there were a whole lot of turtles in a shallow pool at the entrance. Does that count for anything? Next stop - the Notre Dame Cathedral. It's just smaller than the one in Paris, that's all. And a tad bit out of place. But it's all good. Lunch was spectacular - sushi platter for $6. Hit the spot. While $6 for a meal in Vietnam is actually more than I've had to spend so far, I needed some sushi badly. Cooler heads prevailed. After lunch, I headed over to the War Remnants Museum, which has on display loads of stuff leftover from the American War - bombs, planes, tanks, bullets, other weapons. Everything. It used to be called the American War Crimes Museum, and then they changed the name because they were worried about upsetting American tourists. I wonder why? The exhibitions were a bit eye-popping and unnerving. Clearly they were only showing one side of the story, but it was still rather compelling stuff, which left me in a strange state of questioning and gloom. So my next stop was actually a nice one to make - the Mariamman Hindu temple. After having seen so many Buddhist pagodas and wats over the past month, it was nice to step foot into a Hindu establishment again. Even if the interior of the temple was completely painted in tacky pastel colors not befitting a temple in any way, shape, or form. Later on that evening, I purchased a pirated copy of a book by Robert McNamara (U.S. Secretary of Defense during the first half of the war) called: In Retrospect - the Tragedy and Lessons of Vietnam. It's pretty good actually. He does an excellent job of explaining why decisions were made going into the war and how our involvement slowly escalated much further than anticipated. If wars are your thing, this is a good book to get. Friday, August 9th Took a full day tour today to go see the Cao Dai temple and the Cu Chi tunnels. More on each of these shortly. But now, a word from our sponsors. Please spend the next 3.0 minutes singing "Nod Your Head" by Will Smith to yourself as part of the Men In Black 2 commercial. I've even seen these commercials here. This song is ridiculous. Isn't 'Nod Your Head" a line in the Hokie Pokie or something? What's next? "Pick Your Nose"? "Lick Your Palms"? "Scratch the Small of Your Back"? "Walk Like an Egyptian"? So Cao Dai is this religion that this Vietnamese guy founded in the early 1900s. Or I should say, he had some visions and then established a forum within which to convey this vision. In a nutshell, it's very dark and rather cramped. The religion, on the other hand, is a combination of Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism. Strangely enough, it also reveres Victor Hugo as a saint or prophet (I forget which). In any case, we saw this huge complex north of Saigon which used to be wholly owned and operated by the CaoDaists. And we watched the noon prayer service. Then we got back in the bus. The Cu Chi tunnels (not to be confused with the Cu Chi Cu Chi Cu tunnels - which are 2.5 times better) are an underground network of tunnels in the predominantly Communist village of Cu Chi, which the Vietcong used to thwart the American and South Vietnamese army during the war. We saw all sorts of pain-inflicting booby-traps, often involving multiple metal spikes or nails being lodged somewhere in the victims body. They didn't do any live demonstrations unfortunately. I would have paid another dollar for this. The tunnels themselves were where the Cu Chi villagers lived to survive the intense air bombing campaigns from the US planes. They were Vietnamese sized too. They doubled the height of a 60m stretch of tunnels for us tourist types. Even then, I was fully squatted down and had to waddle like a penguin to keep from crawling on all fours. My hairless head did not provide any cushioning from bumping into the hard ceiling every once in a while. Your hairy people take this for granted. Saturday, August 10th Said Sayonara Saigon this morning (yes, if I had left in the evening, it would have been Goodnight Saigon) and embarked on a 2-day trip to the Mekong Delta region, ending up in Cambodia somehow. And what a trip it ended up being. Other than being in the guesthouse overnight, the group of us on this tour were in some mode of transportation virtually non-stop. As you can guess, I didn't really see much of the Mekong Delta region which produces vast quantities of rice in Vietnam. But I did cruise down the river for 5 hours, constantly trying to wave back at each and every single local kid who yelled and screamed with their arms waving in the air. Pretty neat. There really isn't too much to report from this trip. The guide didn't tell us a damn thing about the area. But I made some new friends on the trip, so I guess that's worth something. But the guide sucked, and the food sucked - i.e., the mind and the body were left in a most unstimulated fashion. Sunday, August 11th After getting some breakfast, our main task for the day was to go to Cambodia. But first, we were loaded onto small little canoe boats for a little boat ride through a floating village. Each of these small boats was powered by a small Vietnamese lady rowing from the back. Probably not the last time that I'll be pushed around by a woman... ;-) (you see - there's my mom, and then, oh yeah, my boss is female...) Next, I hopped onto a speedboat for a 3-hour cruise to Phnom Penh in Cambodia. Along the way, we had to stop at the Vietnamese and Cambodian border crossings for the passport validations and visas and all that. The Cambodians gave me a bit of a hassle - they seemed interested in the fact that I carried an Ohio driver's license, whereas it says New York in my passport (since I was born there). Amazingly enough, the only other people in our tour group that were hassled just happened to be the only other two non-whites. Hmmmm. Now I'm not a math major, but... At Phnom Penh, we were greeted by a hoard of fans. Or actually a hoard of hawkers trying to get us to go to their guesthouse. This is kinda cool actually - you can bargain with them right there and try to get a cheaper price. But how can you really bargain down a $3 room? So I picked one and went with it. I was bored, so I walked around. And then it happened – a torrential rainstorm came down. So I did what any other hungry person would do. I went into a gas station mart to get some good food and wait out the rain. Had some instant Ramen noodles and an Ice Nescafe. Yum Yum. The rain was brief, but it wreaked absolute havoc on the roadways - apparently the drainage system is ill equipped for anything more than a light tinkle. A few of us who were on the Mekong Delta trip decided to go out for some drinks. So we hit the Foreign Correspondent's Club and had beer draughts for $1.20 (which is actually expensive!). After a few, we decided to get some pizza at Happy Herb's Pizzeria down the street. The waiter was happy, and the customers were happy as well. Can't get enough Happy Herb. Joy. For a nightcap, we hit a nightclub where the beer was even more expensive. But this place looked really neat - it was decorated such that it could have easily passed for a nightclub/bar in any major city in the States. But it was in Cambodia. Played some pool. I tend to do much better in pool when I'm not focusing on what I'm trying to do. If I think too much, I end up botching the shot. All right, that's enough for today. Even though I'm a few days delayed in sending this. Oh well. By the way, this is your second notice that your subscription is running out. Only two more issues to go, and then you'll have to get your own travel stories. See you soon. -Paraag Tidbits: 1. There is one indisputable fact about this entire region - Asians like body hair. No idea why. But not a day goes by where there isn't someone marveling at my arm hair or my chest hair. I've even had random strangers come up to me and pinch a tuft of chest hair from behind my T-shirt. Unsettling actually. It's been hard to restrain myself from shoving them away and yelling. 2. The dresses that Vietnamese flight attendants wear are hot. They just are. You should check one out someday. 3. The unit of currency in Cambodia is the riel, as in get riel. But most people just use US Dollars, and then use riel for change smaller than 1 dollar. This makes it very very hard to bargain down prices, since the numbers being discussed are very low to begin with - going down a dollar represents a significant percentage change.