Trip Update #14 - En Finito

Yeah, okay. So I'm a tad bit late with this one. Just withhold your payment - that'll show me. If you do have service complaints, please register them at www.biteme.com. Have a nice day! :-) Alas, this will be the final update. I leave in about 40 hours. My mother is so happy. I think she has one of those digital countdown clocks on the wall. You know, like those clocks that were all over the place a few years back counting down to the new millennium? Hmmm... New Years 2000 was probably the single largest event in mankind that rendered the most clocks unusable. What a waste. So, do they go to clock heaven or something? I think it's sad that they come to such an abrupt meaningless fate. I know I wouldn't want to be a millennium countdown clock, would you? All right, enough babble. To the "Where's Paraaldo?" verses: Monday, August 12th Woke up in severe pain. Last night was the single worst night of sleep I've had in a decade. Something hit me hard. Must have been the pizza. A little too happy for my tastes. Damn that Herb. I'm sure the beer had nothing to do with it. Nooooooooo. Somewhere around noon (I think), I crawled onto the backseat of a motor scooter for a tour of the city of Phnom Penh, Cambodia. First stop: The Killing Fields of Choeng Ek. Those of you who have seen the movie called "The Killing Fields" will already know that Pol Pot's regime in the late 70's (I think) exterminated 2-3 million Cambodians for being educated or for being suspected dissidents. About 10,000 people were buried in mass graves at Choeng Ek. One of the memorials gives you a real hard gut check - it's a bunch of glass-door cabinets filled with stacked exhumed human skulls. If that doesn't make it hit home, nothing will. Next stop was the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. This place was a high school turned prison camp turned museum, where Pol Pot sent the educated people and suspected dissidents prior to sending them to their execution and mass burial at Choeng Ek. Unbelievably depressing. Last stop was the Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda. Due to my late start, I only had about 30 minutes to spend here. I would've liked to spend 3-4 hours - mainly to have somewhere a little more cheerful to recuperate from my rough night and not so perky early afternoon travels. This place was gorgeous. I think it's even nicer than the Royal Palace in Bangkok. If you remember, I commented on the Bangkok Royal Palace that it was so beautiful that I didn't even know what to take a picture of. I almost felt like I was doing a disservice to a building or structure if I didn't photograph it. Well ditto that here. Times two. Tuesday, August 13th Took a boat up the Mekong River to Siem Reap today. At least I think it was the Mekong River. I've done so much travelling on the Mekong River so far, that I'm gonna stick with it. I've already made the Mekong - Yukong joke, haven't I? Anywho, this boat wasn't a normal looking boat. Oh no. It resembled a submarine that didn't quite submerge, or perhaps something out of Jacques Cousteau, but only 0.0 leagues under the sea. In any case, it was fast, so I was there by noon. After fighting the huge crowd of hawkers trying to get me to go to their guesthouse on the back of their scooter, I hopped onto the back of a scooter of a guy who somehow had my name written on a piece of paper. The element of familiarity goes a long way when you're surrounded. Oh yeah - so you're probably wondering what the heck is in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Nothing really. But it is abnormally close to the single greatest Ancient Wonder of the World. I speak of course of The Temples of Angkor (insert dramatic sound clip here), of course of course. These are a collection of temples built by the Khmer kings over a span of 600 years beginning in the 11th century, the crown jewel of the lot being the tremendous Angkor Wat. Sorry - can't really describe it. So for dramatic effect, just imagine something so beautiful it's inconceivable, and then nod your head (much like Stifler and little bro gazing at the computer screen) and smile. I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. The only thing I saw today was one temple, called Phnom Bakheng, which is perched on top of a hill. After climbing the steep slope of the mountain, and then the steep steps of the temple, I sat around for about an hour or two waiting for the sun to go down with a bunch of strangers. Actually, I take that back - several people that I had met on my Vietnam Mekong trip were there too. Anyways, we didn't know when the sun actually set because there were too many clouds in the way. But we imagined how nice it would be to watch the sun set. And there was much rejoicing. Wednesday, August 14th Went Wat-watching all day today. From seeing the sunrise at Angkor Wat at 6 am to seeing the sunset at Angkor Wat at 6pm. Wat after Wat after Wat after Wat. But here's the condensed play-by-play in between the Angkor Wat visits: The Bayon, The Baphuon, Phimeankas, Terrace of the Leper King, Terrace of Elephants, Ta Keo, Ta Proehm, Bantaey Kdei, Preah Rup, Bantaey Srei, East Mebon, Ta Som, and Preah Khan. Some were very very large, some were quite small. Some have been fully restored, others are in the middle of restoration, and still others are left untouched. Since they were built over a 600 year span, there area a vast array of religious and architectural differences among them. In all cases though, the level of stone carvings was just exquisite. And seeing these ruins in the thick of the jungle, in some cases it was the jungle literally in the ruins, was unreal. I spent the last three hours or so of my sightseeing exploring Angkor Wat. This alone was worth the trip into Cambodia. Infinitely better than Borobudur and Prambanan in Indonesia. For the last hour, I sat perched outside the Northwest Stupa of Angkor Wat listening to music on my MP3 player, staring out into the distance in the general direction of the sun, which was unfortunately still playing peek-a-boo behind the clouds. You just don't get to do that every day. Thursday, August 14th Started the long painful journey back to Bangkok today, courtesy of A/C minibus. The first leg of this journey to the Cambodian border was by far the more interesting. Cambodian roads have not been touched since the 60's. In fact, it was hard to tell if there was really any pavement at all - the roads were dirt for the most part, with severe potholes and tire trenches. We were limited to about 15 kmh for about 7 hours. Some of the other silly tourists in the minibus thought it'd be a good idea to try and sleep through it. All they got was a hard smack in the head from the window as the bus shimmied from side to side. Dummies. Along the way, we passed a few vehicles that were broken down due to simple mechanical issues such as total axle failure or the pansy left-front-wheel-snappage-offage. And a few other vehicles that had simply driven over the wrong spot on the wooden bridge, and subsequently partially falling through. In each of these cases, we just drove around them. At 15 kmh or less. In one instance, we were diverted through a few farms to avert a truck-stuck-in-bridge scenario. The farmers had all set up makeshift tollbooths for the rerouting. Something tells me that they were in on the bridge failure. Friday, August 16th I think the digestive system should have a reset button or a purge button or something like that. I've had some issues over the past few days. Thankfully, today was the end of it. I was waiting till I got in Thailand because I didn't quite trust the quality of medication available in Cambodia. Wow. Those are words that I never thought I'd utter. I spent the day shopping for the most part. I would tell you what I bought, but then I'd have to kill you. Okay I'm lying. I can't kill you. I'm in frickin' Thailand. The only other thing of note is that I went to see Men In Black 2 today in the movie theatres. Not bad at all. And they didn't even play that accursed song. As in New Zealand, seats were assigned. Just before the movie, everyone was required to stand up "to pay your respects to the King", while a national anthem of some sort was played over the sound system. Immediately following the movie, all the teenage girls were chatting on their cell phones. Saturday, August 17th - Thursday, August 22nd Left for the island of Ko Samet on Saturday, where I'll cap off this extensive and extremely-tiring journey. I'm just wiped out completely. I haven't stayed in one spot for more than two days in three and a half months (with the exception of Sydney). Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade the experience I've had for anything. I'm just really really tired. To the point that I don't think I enjoyed Angkor Wat as much as it deserved to be enjoyed. So Ko Samet is supposed to be the relaxation therapy. I didn't do a damn thing the whole time. My room was a shanty bungalow with a full-size bed in it (with mosquito net, thank goodness). The roof was made of tin. The walls were made of something resembling basket thatch. I just sat around. Read a few books - for those of you keeping track, I've finished Naked by David Sedaris, Masquerade by William Kienzle, The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coehlo, and I'm almost done with The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy (no relation to Patrick). Began a morning jogging routine. Even tried my hand at body surfing. Watched some movies, including Blade II, Men in Black II (again), The Matrix, and Meet the Parents. The weather has been perfect. Perfect for me that is - overcast the whole time. I'm too tanned as it is, so this allowed me to venture where I wanted to without concern. The bar at the place I stayed at was pretty cool. From 10pm to midnight every night, they have this thing called Toss-Up. You flip a coin to determine whether or not you pay for your drink. I won four out of five - so I paid a total of $1.50 for five gin and tonics. Can't beat it. Today (Thursday), I got on a boat to come back to Bangkok. This gives me a day and a half in Bangkok before catching my early Saturday morning flight back home. Which gives me plenty of time to partake in Bangkok's bustling trade of... umm... on second thought, let me change the subject. Have you seen my baseball? Yes mom, I'm being good. I promise. I won't be engaging in any activities that could result in body parts falling off. Really. I promise. So that's it. The end. Over. Kaput. Zoinks. Jeepers. Bif! Zok! Whap! If you're expecting some grand essay on "things I've learned" or "the meaning of life", I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I'm working on it. But I'll leave you with a few thoughts. (Bill N. - please skip to the bottom. This is the sappy stuff that you will undoubtedly give me grief over!) - No matter where you go, people are inherently the same. There is no such thing as a country full of evil people. There are just some really bad governments. Sometimes, it's not even a bad government - just a government that we don't agree with. - Religion is for the most part the same everywhere too – just in a different color wrapper. Everywhere people are looking for guidance in a mysterious world that seems uncontrollable at times. And everywhere, the basic tenets of all religions can be summed up to the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". It's a shame that most wars are attributed to religious differences. - It's really a shame that we as people revere money as much as we do. Knowledge and understanding are worth far more, but not given as much credit. As a result, I think as a society, we have our values way out of whack. As the adage goes, money can't buy happiness (and Weird Al adds "I guess I'll have to rent it"). - Nothing humans will build will ever be as spectacular as that which has already be created. Nature is by far the most spectacular thing I've seen on this trip. And it's free (or at least it should be). - A trip to a third world country really puts some things in perspective. Why is it that a child with (what we consider in the West to be) absolutely nothing in a third world country can be perfectly happy kicking a ball of twine around, and a child in a "developed" country will yell, kick, and scream about not having a Playstation 2? Simplicity has some benefits that we've lost the ability to see. I'm not, by any means, advocating a move to the 500 years ago. I just think it might be helpful to sit back and think about what I think I need and what I really need every once in a while. I guess I did have an essay in me after all. If you don't agree with me on some of these thoughts, that's cool too – they are somewhat personal thoughts anyway. We'll just agree to disagree. I'm not really looking for a debate here, but I'm more than open to a discussion at some point with any takers. Over a good bottle of wine. Or Franzia. So long. Farewell. I hate to say goodbye. Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you. Those of you in Cincinnati, stop by and see me sometime. I'd love to catch-up. I'll be back on late Saturday night. Those of you not in Cincinnati, drop me a line. I've disconnected my cell phone, so just use my home phone - 513-871-5830. -Paraag Tidbits: 1. Cell phone coverage in Asia is far superior to the U.S. Everywhere I've gone, the tour guides, bus operators, boat driver, etc. has relied extensively on the cell phone for last minute changes and whatnot. Everywhere. 2. There's a bar in Siem Reap called Angkor What? Guess someone beat me to that joke. Dammit! 3. When in Asia, always remember to have plenty of bottled water handy. It's not a good feeling to get up thirsty in the middle of the night only to realize that you can't drink out of the tap. 4. Following on #3, but the locals must drink out of the tap. And they're A-Ok. Amazing how our privileged lifestyle in the West has also made us more susceptible and prone to sickness. Kind of counter-intuitive. 5. Just remembered one that I meant to write way back in Australia. Rayman can definitely appreciate this one. If you're lactose intolerant, don't drink a glass of milk in the morning without taking the proper medication. Even if you think you can "muscle" your way through it. P.S. A sincere thanks to the countless people who have e-mailed me compliments and such. I'm going to miss writing these as much as or more than you'll miss reading them. And from what I can tell, there's a whole group of people that I don't even know who are getting forwarded these from other people. Feel free to drop me a line or e-mail - I'm kind of curious to see where it ends.